Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Avoid filler words (uh) and give a clearer topic sentence plus one or two specific details. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, because / so / and). Keep the answer to no more than 3–4 sentences and be more specific about what you notice.

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when travelling by bus or car because I enjoy seeing how towns and countryside change. For example, I like watching the architecture in different cities and the rolling hills between them, which helps me remember each place.

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise: start with a direct statement, then give a specific reason and one example. Remove hesitations and correct grammar (e.g., “experience it I enjoyed” → “the experience I enjoyed”).

例: Yes, I often take photos from the window of buses or trains because they remind me of the trip. For example, I photographed a coastal village last summer to capture the light and colours so I could look back on that experience.

提案: Respond with a clear preference in one sentence, then give 1–2 brief, specific reasons using linking words (because / since / for example). Avoid contradictory or confusing details (sea vs lake) and remove fillers.

例: I prefer the sea because I grew up near the coast and love swimming and walking on the beach. For example, in summer I often go swimming and watch the sunset, which relaxes me.

× Yes, I like to look at the, uh, scene, uh, from the window, uh, because I can watch the other cities or, uh, landscape of the, of the different countries and.

✓ Yes, I like to look at the scenery from the window because I can see the cities and landscapes of different places.

The sentence uses 'the scene' and 'the landscape of the, of the different countries' incorrectly. Use 'scenery' (uncountable) instead of 'scene' and plural 'landscapes' for multiple views. Remove unnecessary definite articles and filler words. Also replace 'watch' with 'see' for scenery. Suggestion: use precise nouns and avoid extra articles and fillers. Grammar problem type ID: 22

× Of course, I like to take photos from the window of buses or trains after coming back to home from the trip. Uh, it reminds me of the place I visited and experience it I enjoyed.

✓ Of course, I like to take photos from the windows of buses or trains after coming back home from a trip. It reminds me of the places I visited and the experiences I enjoyed.

Errors: 'coming back to home' should be 'coming back home' (no 'to'); 'from the trip' is better as 'from a trip'; 'window' should be plural when referring generally; 'experience it I enjoyed' is ungrammatical — use noun 'experiences' and past tense 'enjoyed' within a coherent clause. Use past participle nouns 'visited' correctly. Suggestion: simplify clauses and keep consistent plural/singular forms. Grammar problem type ID: 9

× I prefer to the sea, to the mountains, uh, I used to live in a place near the sea and I enjoy the uh, swimming the uh in the lake in the summer.

✓ I prefer the sea to the mountains. I used to live near the sea, and I enjoy swimming in lakes in the summer.

Errors: 'prefer to the sea, to the mountains' uses wrong word order—correct is 'prefer A to B'. 'Live in a place near the sea' is wordy; use 'live near the sea'. 'Enjoy the swimming the uh in the lake' has extra articles and words; 'enjoy swimming in lakes' is natural for general habit. Fix prepositions: 'in the lake' -> 'in lakes' for general statement. Suggestion: follow 'prefer A to B' structure and remove unnecessary articles/fillers. Grammar problem type ID: 11}]} PMID: 0.45 PMID: 0.72