Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is natural and relevant, with a clear topic sentence and supporting detail. To improve, make sentences more concise, avoid small hesitations, and add one brief specific example to make the response more vivid. Use a linking word to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I find it very relaxing. For example, on a recent six-hour trip I watched the changing countryside and felt less stressed, which helped me recharge for work. Therefore, window-gazing is my preferred way to pass long journeys.

提案: Your idea is clear but grammar and phrasing are weak. Improve accuracy (use correct tense and expressions), reduce redundancy, and add a linking phrase plus a concrete example of when you would take a photo. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

例: It depends on the scene; if the view looks especially beautiful I will take a photo. For instance, last month I photographed a vivid sunset from the motorway because the colours were striking, and I wanted to remember it.

提案: Your preference is clear but the answer has hesitations, repetition, and awkward phrasing. Make one concise topic sentence stating your preference, give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words, and avoid fillers. Correct basic grammar (e.g., 'I live in a coastal city' not 'where located at sea').

例: I prefer the sea because I live in a coastal city and grew up near the shore. In addition, I enjoy swimming and the relaxed atmosphere by the beach, so seaside trips suit me better than mountain hikes.

× When I'm traveling by bus or car I almost look out of the window.

✓ When I'm traveling by bus or car I almost always look out of the window.

The original sentence uses 'almost' incorrectly before the verb. 'Almost always' is the correct adverbial phrase to express frequency. Place the adverb phrase before the main verb for natural English: 'almost always look' rather than 'almost look'.

× I find it quite relaxing, especially on long journeys because it helps me clear my mind.

✓ I find it quite relaxing, especially on long journeys, because it helps me clear my mind.

A comma is needed before 'because' when the clause is explanatory and follows the main clause for clarity. The grammar type relates to present participle phrasing and clause punctuation for readability.

× In my point of view it all depends on the situation you do a picture.

✓ In my point of view, it all depends on the situation whether you take a picture.

The phrase should be 'In my point of view' followed by a comma; more natural is 'In my point of view, it all depends on the situation whether you take a picture.' Also 'do a picture' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'take' when referring to photos.

× If the view from the car or the vehicle looking pretty good, why not?

✓ If the view from the car or vehicle looks pretty good, why not?

The verb form is incorrect: use 'looks' (present simple) to describe the view. 'Looking' is a present participle and does not fit here. Simplify 'the car or the vehicle' to 'the car or vehicle' for concision.

× I'm probably will take photo of this.

✓ I'll probably take a photo of it.

The original combines 'I'm' and 'will' incorrectly. Use the contraction 'I'll' for 'I will' or 'I'm probably going to' + verb. Also include the article 'a' before 'photo' and use 'it' as the pronoun referring to the view.

× I live in a city where located at sea.

✓ I live in a city that is located by the sea.

The original lacks a verb in the relative clause. Use 'that is located' or 'which is located' and the preposition 'by' or 'on' the sea. This fixes the sentence structure and provides a correct relative clause.

× That's why I prefer to choose sea.

✓ That's why I prefer the sea.

'Prefer to choose sea' is ungrammatical. Use 'prefer the sea' or 'prefer the sea to the mountains.' Also include the definite article 'the' with 'sea' in this context.

× I uh, like sea rather than mountains.

✓ I, uh, like the sea rather than the mountains.

Use definite articles 'the sea' and 'the mountains' when comparing general natural features. This makes the sentence grammatically correct and natural.

× Mountains. It's not my type, not my style.

✓ Mountains are not my type; they are not my style.

Single-word sentence 'Mountains.' is a fragment; combine into a full sentence. Use plural verb 'are' with plural noun 'Mountains' and clarify with a semicolon or conjunction. This fixes sentence fragment and agreement.

× I'm really into, well, I'm located near to the sea.

✓ I'm really into it. Well, I live near the sea.

'Into' needs an object ('into it') if used colloquially; 'located near to the sea' is awkward—use 'live near the sea' or 'located near the sea' without 'to'. 'Near the sea' is the natural prepositional phrase.