Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response direct and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g. 'helps me relax'), remove filler sounds ('MMM'), and give one or two specific supporting details using linking words (e.g. 'for example' or 'because'). Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I often look out the window when I travel by bus or car because it helps me relax. For example, I enjoy watching changing landscapes and occasionally spotting animals or people going about their day. This always makes the journey feel shorter and more interesting.

提案: Give a concise, grammatically correct answer: use a clear topic sentence, correct conditionals (e.g. 'if there's a beautiful view'), and link reasons or examples with 'for example' or 'so'. Avoid repetition and unnecessary phrases like 'to sum up' in short answers.

例: Yes, I sometimes take photos of the scenery outside the window if the view is attractive. For example, I often photograph interesting animals or unusual plants because they are hard to see again. So, I only take pictures when the scene is worth keeping.

提案: Answer directly with a clear preference sentence, correct tense and prepositions (e.g. 'I grew up in a city by the sea'), and give one or two specific reasons using linking words ('because', 'so', 'which is why'). Keep sentences natural and avoid awkward phrases like 'for my soul'.

例: I prefer the sea because I grew up in a city by the coast and feel very comfortable there. For example, I enjoy warm weather and swimming, which I find more relaxing than cold, snowy mountain trips.

× Yes, looking out the window while I'm traveling by bus or a car helps me to relaxing and for instance why I look into this.

✓ Yes, looking out the window while I'm traveling by a bus or car helps me relax and, for instance, is why I do this.

The phrase 'helps me to relaxing' is incorrect: after 'help' use the base verb or 'to' + base (help me relax or help me to relax). Also 'a car' after 'by' is unnecessary; 'by bus or car' or 'by a bus or car' — here 'a' is acceptable but better 'a bus or car'. 'why I look into this' is unnatural; 'is why I do this' clarifies meaning. Use gerund 'relax' not 'relaxing' after 'help'. Suggested improvement: Use 'help me relax' or 'help me to relax', and rephrase unclear clauses to use active verbs and clear subjects.

× I see MMM pretty interesting views or animals people just look around.

✓ I see pretty interesting views and sometimes animals when people just look around.

Word order and missing connectors cause confusion. 'MMM' is unclear and likely filler; remove it. 'pretty interesting views or animals people just look around' lacks conjunctions and relative structure. 'pretty' modifies 'interesting views', and 'sometimes' clarifies frequency. Reorder to 'I see pretty interesting views and sometimes animals when people just look around.' Suggested improvement: Place adjectives before nouns and include linking words (and, when) to join ideas.

× Yes, however it all depends on the situation.

✓ Yes, however, it all depends on the situation.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable but needs comma after 'however' when used as a connector. No major grammatical error beyond punctuation. Suggested improvement: Use commas with 'however' when it links clauses.

× If their beautiful view, why not to take a photo of this?

✓ If there is a beautiful view, why not take a photo of it?

'Their' is a homophone error; correct word is 'there'. The conditional needs 'there is' to introduce existence. After 'why not' use bare infinitive 'take', not 'to take'. 'this' is vague; 'it' refers back to 'view'. Suggested improvement: Use 'If there is...' to introduce existence and 'why not' + base verb.

× For instance, if I will see pretty animals or plants, I probably will take photo of this.

✓ For instance, if I see pretty animals or plants, I will probably take a photo of them.

In conditional sentences of type 1 (real present/future), the 'if' clause should use the present simple, not 'will'. So use 'if I see' not 'if I will see'. 'Probably' usually appears before the main verb: 'I will probably take'. 'Take photo of this' needs article and pronoun agreement: 'take a photo of them.' Suggested improvement: Use present tense in the 'if' clause, and include articles and correct pronouns.

× To sum up, yes I will I.

✓ To sum up, yes, I will.

The sentence contains an extra pronoun 'I' at the end, causing redundancy and ungrammatical structure. Remove the final 'I' and add a comma after 'yes' for clarity. Suggested improvement: Avoid repeating subject pronouns unnecessarily.

× I was born and grew up the city near to the sea.

✓ I was born and grew up in a city near the sea.

Missing preposition 'in' after 'grew up'. 'Near to' is less natural in this context; use 'near the sea' or 'close to the sea'. Also include an article 'a city'. Suggested improvement: Use 'grew up in a city near the sea' for natural phrasing.

× That's why for my soul the sea will be closer than mountains and mostly I'm really into with the sea rather the mountains.

✓ That's why, for my soul, the sea feels closer than the mountains and I'm mostly really into the sea rather than the mountains.

Multiple preposition and phrasing errors: 'for my soul' is awkward but can be kept with commas; 'will be closer' is an odd future for a present feeling — use 'feels closer'. 'into with the sea' is wrong: 'into' should be followed by the object (into the sea) or 'into the sea' meaning interested in; correct phrase is 'into the sea' is odd meaning; better 'into the sea' -> 'into the sea' isn't correct. Use 'I'm really into the sea' or 'I prefer the sea to the mountains'. 'rather the mountains' should be 'rather than the mountains'. Suggested improvement: Use 'feels closer', 'I'm really into the sea' or 'I prefer the sea to the mountains', and 'rather than' for comparisons.

× I like hot weather, warm weather then cold and freezing.

✓ I like hot, warm weather more than cold, freezing weather.

Comparative structure is incorrect: use 'more than' to compare preferences. Also combine adjectives properly: 'hot, warm weather' is awkward; better 'I prefer hot and warm weather to cold and freezing weather' or 'I like hot or warm weather more than cold, freezing weather.' Suggested improvement: Use 'prefer X to Y' or 'more than' for comparisons and place adjectives before the noun consistently.