Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use correct verb forms and avoid unclear words (e.g. 'cajole' is incorrect here). Add a linking phrase if you give more than one detail.

例: Yes, I usually look out the window when I travel by bus or car. For example, I enjoy watching natural scenery such as trees and the ocean because it relaxes me, and I often notice small details like birds or plants along the road.

提案: Answer directly and correct grammar. Use a topic sentence that states frequency, then explain why or when you take photos. Keep it under five sentences and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Sometimes I take photos of the scenery from the car window, but not very often. Usually I just prefer to watch because taking pictures on a moving vehicle is difficult and the photos often turn out blurred.

提案: Be specific and use correct pronouns and sentence structure. Start by stating your preference clearly (mountains or sea), then give two concrete reasons linked with transition words. Avoid repetition and informal fillers.

例: I prefer the sea because I find coastal scenery very beautiful and calming. For example, the sound of waves and the fresh air make me feel relaxed, and I enjoy walking along the shore at sunset.

× Yes, I do, because I I'm interesting about the view, natural view like for example trees or oceans and cajole.

✓ Yes, I do, because I am interested in the view, such as trees, the ocean, and the coastline.

Student used 'interesting' (an adjective) where the passive participle 'interested' is required to describe their feeling. 'I'm interesting about' is incorrect; say 'I am interested in'. 'Natural view like for example' is awkward—use 'such as' and correct nouns: 'ocean' (singular) or 'the ocean' and 'coastline' instead of 'cajole' which is the wrong word. Suggestion: use 'interested in' + noun phrase and choose correct vocabulary. Grammar problem type ID: 13

× Yes, sometimes, but I always just to see the outside the car window. This is so.

✓ Yes, sometimes, but I always just look at the view outside the car window.

The student wrote 'I always just to see' which mixes an infinitive marker 'to' with the wrong structure. After 'always' use the base verb 'look' (I always look). Also 'the outside the car window' is redundant; use 'the view outside the car window' or 'out of the car window'. Suggestion: use subject + adverb + base verb, e.g., 'I always just look at the view outside the car window.' Grammar problem type ID: 10

× Yes, I do. Especially I like the sea because she's so beautiful and it takes it makes to feel me happy. So yeah. And yeah.

✓ Yes, I do. I especially like the sea because it is so beautiful and it makes me feel happy.

The student used 'she' to refer to 'the sea' (acceptable in poetic contexts but uncommon in neutral speech) and produced ungrammatical phrases 'it takes it makes to feel me happy.' Correct pattern is 'it makes me feel happy.' Use object pronoun 'me' after 'feel.' Also place adverb 'especially' before the verb group: 'I especially like.' Suggestion: use 'it makes me feel happy' and standard pronoun 'it' for inanimate nouns. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× This is so.

✓ That's why.

'This is so' is vague and unnatural in this context. The student likely intended to confirm or emphasize the previous statement; a natural conversational response would be 'That's why' or 'That's true.' Suggestion: use clear linking phrases like 'That's why' to show cause or emphasis. Grammar problem type ID: 26