Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus on producing a clear topic sentence then add one or two linked supporting details. Reduce hesitations and repetitions. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., scenery, relaxed, entertaining) and linking words such as 'because' and 'for example' to make your answer coherent. Aim for 2–3 sentences, avoid filler sounds ('uh', 'and and').

例: Yes, I always look out the window when I travel because the scenery is relaxing and interesting. For example, seeing mountains or fields from the bus helps me feel calm and makes the trip more enjoyable.

提案: Begin with a direct answer and then give a specific example. Correct basic grammar (e.g., 'I take photographs', 'beautiful scenery', 'if an animal appears') and avoid repeated words. Use a linking phrase like 'for example' or 'sometimes' to connect details. Keep it to two concise sentences.

例: Yes, I often take photographs from the car window. For example, I like to capture mountains and green fields, and I sometimes stop to photograph animals if I see them nearby.

提案: Answer directly and give two clear reasons using linking words like 'because' and 'also'. Correct word choice and pronunciation issues in practice (e.g., 'sense' instead of 'stench', 'achievement' is fine). Avoid excessive hesitation. Keep it to two or three well-formed sentences.

例: I prefer the mountains because reaching the summit feels like an achievement and I enjoy hiking. Also, I'm afraid of the sea since I can't swim, so I feel safer in the mountains.

× Yes, definitely, uh, because as the experience that that get once in a lifetime.

✓ Yes, definitely, because it is an experience you get only once in a lifetime.

The original sentence has unclear structure and missing/main verb phrases. 'as the experience that that get once in a lifetime' is ungrammatical. Correct by providing a clear subject ('it') and verb ('is') and reordering to natural English ('an experience you get only once in a lifetime'). Suggestion: form a complete clause with subject and verb and avoid repeated words like 'that that'.

× So, so seeing sceneries maybe from the outside of the bags, uh, bus or train and it's kind of feel relaxed and, and, and more more fans and, and it.

✓ So seeing the scenery from outside the bus or train makes me feel relaxed and more excited.

Errors include incorrect plural 'sceneries' (use 'scenery' as an uncountable noun), wrong noun 'bags', awkward phrase 'it's kind of feel', and repetition. Correct by using 'seeing the scenery', correct vehicle noun 'bus', and a proper verb structure 'makes me feel'. Use appropriate adjectives ('excited') instead of 'fans'.

× Yes, of course I I take photograph of the mountains outside the best or car window and I like the green spaces like a a beautiful sceneries and if the the animal is bossing by then I I took that photograph and.

✓ Yes, of course I take photographs of the mountains outside the bus or car window, and I like the green spaces and beautiful scenery; if an animal passes by, I take a photograph of it.

Multiple issues: 'take photograph' should be plural 'take photographs' or 'take a photograph', 'best' is wrong for 'bus', 'sceneries' should be 'scenery', and tense inconsistency 'took' should be present 'take' to match habitual action. Also 'bossing' is incorrect for 'passing'. Use 'if an animal passes by' and 'I take a photograph of it' for clarity.

× I prefer mountains because, uh, uh, you can go up up to the mountain and if you reach that, that's at the top stench.

✓ I prefer mountains because you can climb to the top, and when you reach it, you are at the summit.

Problems: 'go up up to the mountain' is repetitive; 'reach that, that's at the top stench' is ungrammatical and wrong word 'stench' (means bad smell) instead of 'summit' or 'top'. Correct by using present simple 'you can climb' and correct noun 'summit' or 'top'. Ensure clear clause 'when you reach it, you are at the summit.'

× And it, it was a, a achievement, but uh, uh, I, I afraid of sea because I can't, can't, uh, can't swim.

✓ And it was an achievement, but I am afraid of the sea because I can't swim.

Errors: article 'a achievement' should be 'an achievement' (article error), missing verb 'I am afraid' requires 'am', and repetition 'can't, can't' is unnecessary. Also 'sea' needs the definite article 'the sea' in this context. Correct to present simple 'I am afraid' and 'I can't swim'.