Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise: give a clear topic sentence, then one specific supporting detail using linking words. Correct grammar (articles, verb forms) and reduce redundancy.

例: Yes — I usually look out of the window when I travel by car because I enjoy observing the changing scenery. For example, watching streets and parks helps me relax and take my mind off work during long journeys.

提案: Give a clear, complete sentence and avoid informal or unclear words. Use one or two specific details and correct vocabulary (e.g., "photophile" or "I love photography"). Finish your thought and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I love photography and often take photos from the car window. For instance, I usually photograph interesting buildings or sunsets with my phone, and sometimes I record short videos to capture movement.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting reasons linked logically. Avoid phrases like "to be honest" that add little content and refine phrasing for fluency.

例: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy hiking and exploring wildlife. For example, I often spend weekends trekking local trails to observe birds and plants, which makes mountain trips more rewarding for me.

× Yes, I love to look outside whenever I travel by a car because I love to observe my surroundings and that type of things makes my journey easy and very helpful for reduce my stress.

✓ Yes, I love to look outside whenever I travel by car because I love to observe my surroundings, and those kinds of things make my journey easier and help reduce my stress.

Use no article before 'car' when speaking generally: 'travel by car'. 'That type of things' is incorrect: use 'those kinds of things' or 'things like that'. Verb agreement: plural 'things' requires 'make' not 'makes'. Use comparative 'easier' and the correct infinitive 'help reduce' rather than 'helpful for reduce'. Also add a comma before the conjunction for clarity.

× Yes, I'm a photolic person.

✓ Yes, I'm a photogenic person.

The word 'photolic' is not an English adjective. If the student means they like taking photos, better choices are 'photography enthusiast' or 'I like photography'. If they mean they look good in photos, 'photogenic' is appropriate. Choose wording that matches intended meaning.

× I love to click pictures whenever I go outside, buy a car and mostly I love to capture the views by record, by recording and by clicking some pictures.

✓ I love to take pictures whenever I go out, when I drive a car, and mostly I like to capture views by recording videos or taking photos.

Use 'take pictures' rather than 'click pictures' in standard English. 'Go outside, buy a car' is unclear; likely meant 'go out' or 'when I drive a car'. 'Capture the views by record, by recording' is awkward; use 'by recording videos' or 'by taking photos'. Also simplify and parallel the list with consistent verb forms.

× And usually I.

✓ And usually I do.

This fragment 'And usually I.' is incomplete because it lacks a verb. Adding the auxiliary 'do' completes the sentence and refers back to the action previously mentioned (take photos/record). Alternatively, expand it to a full clause explaining what is usually done.

× I prefer mountains because I love hiking and to be honest I have a great knowledge about the mountains, about the wildlife, so I think this is the main reason I prefer mountains.

✓ I prefer the mountains because I love hiking, and to be honest I have great knowledge about mountains and wildlife, so I think this is the main reason I prefer them.

Use 'the mountains' when speaking about mountains in general; alternatively 'mountains' is acceptable but keep consistency. 'A great knowledge' is unnatural; use 'great knowledge' or 'good knowledge'. 'About the mountains, about the wildlife' is repetitive; combine with 'and'. Avoid repeating 'I prefer mountains'—use 'them' for cohesion. Also maintain parallel structure and natural collocation.