Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 자연스럽도록 문법과 어순을 바로잡고, 연결어를 사용해 이유를 더 명확히 설명하세요. 예: ‘lookout’ → ‘look out’, ‘makes relaxed’ → ‘helps me relax’. 주제문을 먼저 말한 뒤 한두 문장으로 구체적 이유나 상황을 덧붙이세요.

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I enjoy watching the scenery because it helps me relax, and sometimes I like to observe people and buildings quietly to pass the time.

提案: 문장 구조와 전치사를 정확히 쓰세요(예: ‘capture it with my phone’, ‘look out at the scenery’). 또한 연결어를 써서 빈도와 조건을 명확히 표현하세요. 불필요한 반복을 줄이고 구체적인 예를 하나 추가하면 좋습니다.

例: Sometimes I take photos of the scenery if the view is especially beautiful, and I usually capture it with my phone. However, I don’t take pictures constantly; most of the time I just look out at the scenery to relax.

提案: 대체로 명확하고 자연스럽습니다. 더 높은 점수를 위해 이유를 하나 더 구체적으로 확장하거나 비교 표현을 사용하세요(예: ‘more than the mountains because…’). 연결어를 추가하면 논리가 더 좋아집니다.

例: I prefer the sea to the mountains because I love the sound of the waves and the fresh, salty air. I feel more comfortable and relaxed there, and I also enjoy walking along the shore at sunset.

× Yes, I often lookout the window when I travel by bus or car.

✓ Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car.

'Lookout' is a noun; the correct verb phrase is 'look out' and when referring to a window use the preposition 'out of the window' or 'out the window'. Use the base verb 'look' not the noun 'lookout'. Suggestion: Use 'look out of the window' or 'look out the window' and keep the verb in base form after adverb 'often'.

× I like watching the scenery because it makes relaxed and sometimes I just enjoy the view quietly.

✓ I like watching the scenery because it makes me feel relaxed and sometimes I just enjoy the view quietly.

The adjective 'relaxed' needs a subject experiencing the feeling; add 'me feel' to show who is relaxed. Alternatively, use the adverb 'feel relaxed'. Suggestion: Use 'it makes me feel relaxed' or 'I feel relaxed'.

× Yes, sometimes I take photos of the scenery. If the view is beautiful, I like to capture in with my phone.

✓ Yes, sometimes I take photos of the scenery. If the view is beautiful, I like to capture it with my phone.

The verb 'capture' requires a direct object (what you capture) and does not take the preposition 'in' here. Use the pronoun 'it' as the object and 'with my phone' to indicate the instrument. Suggestion: Use 'capture it with my phone' or 'take a picture of it with my phone'.

× But I don't take photos all the time, just look out the scenery.

✓ But I don't take photos all the time; I just look at the scenery.

The verb 'look' often takes the preposition 'at' when followed by a direct object like 'the scenery'. Also add a subject 'I' before 'just' to form a complete clause. Suggestion: Use 'look at the scenery' and include the subject: 'I just look at the scenery.'