Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, fluency and coherence: use a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and reduce hesitations. Keep answers within 2–4 well-linked sentences. Add one specific detail and a linking word to make the idea flow naturally.

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. While listening to music, I imagine stories about the places I see, and I often watch people walking by to learn about local life.

提案: Work on clarity, sentence completion and vocabulary accuracy. Give a direct topic sentence, explain briefly why photos can be difficult (e.g. motion blur, reflections) using linking words, and avoid unfinished sentences.

例: I sometimes take photos through the car window, but they are often blurred because the car is moving. As a result, I only take pictures when the vehicle is stopped or when I can use a fast shutter speed to avoid motion blur.

提案: Good content and specific details, but reduce repetition and improve grammar and linking. Start with a clear topic sentence, then use linking words (for example, in contrast, moreover) and correct noun/verb forms. Keep to 2–4 concise sentences.

例: I prefer the mountains because they offer variety throughout the year. For example, they are lush and green in summer, full of wildflowers in spring, and often covered in snow in winter, so there is always something different to enjoy.

× Yes, I like look out the window the while I was listening to music and I imaginary the scenery and uh, I like uh, off the window like uh, other people's walking.

✓ Yes, I like looking out of the window while I listen to music and imagine the scenery; I also like watching other people walk outside.

Errors: incorrect verb + -ing after 'like' (should be 'liking' or 'like' + gerund), wrong preposition 'off' (should be 'out of' or 'out the window'), tense inconsistency ('was listening' vs general habit), incorrect verb form 'imaginary' (should be 'imagine'), and awkward phrase 'other people's walking' (should be 'other people walk' or 'watching other people walking'). Suggestion: Use 'like' with the gerund for habitual actions and keep tenses consistent for habitual statements; use correct prepositions 'out of' and correct verb forms 'imagine' and 'watch'.

× I sometimes take photos through a car windows.

✓ I sometimes take photos through car windows.

Error: plural and article mismatch: 'a car windows' mixes singular article with plural noun. Suggestion: Either use 'a car window' or 'car windows' without 'a' depending on meaning. Using 'through car windows' expresses the general habit of taking pictures through windows.

× Uh, the landscapes are dramatic. The results are Indian bad for me because I need to take a pictures and. You.

✓ The landscapes are dramatic, but the results are often bad for me because I need to take pictures quickly.

Errors: 'The results are Indian bad' is ungrammatical and likely a misuse of words; 'a pictures' mixes article and plural; sentence fragment 'and. You.' is incomplete. Suggestion: Replace unclear phrase with 'often bad', remove incorrect article, and complete the thought by explaining why results are bad (e.g., 'because I need to take pictures quickly').

× I prefer the mountain because they are beautiful in every every season.

✓ I prefer the mountains because they are beautiful in every season.

Error: Singular/plural mismatch: 'the mountain' (singular) followed by plural pronoun 'they'. Suggestion: Use 'the mountains' to match 'they' or change pronoun to 'it' if speaking of a single mountain; also remove duplicate word 'every'.

× For example, the mountains are lush and and green in summer, covered in wildflowers in spring, have a snow in the winter.

✓ For example, the mountains are lush and green in summer, covered in wildflowers in spring, and have snow in winter.

Errors: double 'and and', unnecessary article 'a' before 'snow', and missing conjunction before final clause. Suggestion: Remove duplicate 'and', drop 'a' before uncountable noun 'snow', add 'and' to connect the clauses, and remove 'the' before 'winter' for general seasonal reference.