Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct small grammar issues (use "a window seat", "with my own eyes") and finish the sentence. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes. I usually choose a window seat so I can enjoy the view and see nature with my own eyes. It also helps me relax during the journey, especially when the landscape is interesting.

提案: Answer directly and use correct tense and clearer phrasing. Use linking words to explain exceptions and give a brief specific example. Avoid filler words like "you know" and redundant phrases.

例: Not usually. I prefer to look with my eyes, but if I see an unusually beautiful scene, I will take a quick photo to remember it. For example, I once photographed a sunset over a valley while driving through the countryside.

提案: Give a clear preference and explain reasons concisely with specific details. Use correct vocabulary ("steep slopes", "scenic views") and avoid repeating the same idea. Use linking words like "because" or "also" to connect reasons.

例: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy the challenge and the dramatic scenery. For instance, driving up steep slopes gives a sense of adventure, and the mountain viewpoints often offer spectacular panoramic views.

× Usually I prefer to sit on window seat so that I can view the I I can view outside and can capture nature with my naked eyes.

✓ Usually I prefer to sit in the window seat so that I can look outside and capture nature with my naked eyes.

The definite article 'the' is needed before 'window seat' (article error). Also 'sit in the window seat' is the correct prepositional collocation (preposition+article). 'View the I I can view outside and can capture' contains repetition and awkward verbs; replace 'view' with 'look' and remove duplicate text to make the sentence natural. Suggestion: Use 'the' before specific nouns and 'sit in the window seat'. Avoid repeating phrases.

× And I also prefer to sit on window seat because it is very relaxing and I can.

✓ I also prefer to sit in the window seat because it is very relaxing and I can enjoy the view.

The original sentence ends abruptly with 'and I can.' which is an incomplete clause (sentence structure error). Replace 'on' with 'in' and complete the clause with an appropriate verb phrase. Suggestion: Ensure each coordinate clause has a clear verb and object.

× No, I don't prefer to take photos out of the window when I was traveling, but sometimes it happened because, you know, some scenes are very beautiful and they have to be captured.

✓ No, I don't prefer to take photos out of the window when I travel, but sometimes it happens because some scenes are very beautiful and must be captured.

Tense mismatch: 'don't prefer... when I was traveling' mixes present habitual negative with past continuous (past tense issue). Use present simple 'travel' for habitual actions. 'It happened' should be 'it happens' to match habitual context. 'Have to be captured' is awkward modal use; 'must be captured' or 'should be captured' is more natural. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent and choose appropriate modal verbs for necessity.

× So at that time, at that moment, I captured those moment and so that I can see them in my later life.

✓ So at that moment, I captured those moments so that I could see them later in life.

Plural agreement: 'those moment' should be 'those moments' (singular/plural issue). Also 'can' should be 'could' to maintain past tense consistency because the capturing happened in the past (past tense issue). 'in my later life' is awkward; 'later in life' is more natural. Suggestion: Match plural forms and keep past tense consistently when describing past actions.

× Yeah, I prefer both, but I like mountains. I like to go on mountains because I like those steeps which we have to climb with our vehicle.

✓ Yeah, I prefer both, but I like mountains. I like to go to the mountains because I enjoy those steep slopes that we have to climb with a vehicle.

Pronoun/word choice and collocation errors: 'go on mountains' should be 'go to the mountains' (preposition collocation). 'Steeps' is incorrect; the correct noun is 'steep slopes' or 'steeps' is nonstandard (incorrect use of nouns/pronouns). 'Which' is acceptable for clauses but 'that' is more natural for defining clauses. Suggestion: Use correct collocations ('go to the mountains') and correct nouns ('steep slopes').

× It is very difficult to climb mountain steeps with a vehicle.

✓ It is very difficult to climb steep mountain slopes with a vehicle.

Word order and noun choice is awkward: 'mountain steeps' is not natural in English (sentence structure error). Use 'steep mountain slopes' to put adjective before noun and use the correct noun. Suggestion: Place adjectives before nouns and choose standard noun phrases.

× And also there, there is a there are scenic view.

✓ Also, there is a scenic view there.

Redundant and mixed 'there' constructions: 'there is a there are' mixes singular and plural 'there be' structures (there be issue). Use one correct construction: 'there is a scenic view' or 'there are scenic views' depending on number. Also 'scenic view' is countable; include article 'a'. Suggestion: Decide singular or plural and use correct 'there is/there are' structure.