Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more natural: start with a direct topic sentence, correct grammar, avoid filler words, and give one specific supporting detail using a linking word. For example, replace informal words ('video of greenish') with accurate vocabulary ('green scenery') and correct tense/grammar (e.g., 'because' not ''cause').

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window because I enjoy seeing the green scenery. However, if the window is dusty or the wind blows dust inside, I close it to keep my eyes comfortable.

提案: Make the answer more fluent and concise: give a clear topic sentence, avoid repetitions and filler sounds, and add a specific reason or short example using a linking phrase (e.g., 'for example' or 'so').

例: Yes, I often take photos through the window when I travel because I like to capture memories. For example, last month I photographed a colourful sunset from the train and later used the photos to remember the trip.

提案: Answer directly and clean up grammar: begin with a clear preference, remove hesitation, use correct verb forms and pluralization, and add one specific supporting detail with a linking word (e.g., 'because' or 'so'). Avoid redundant phrases ('view views').

例: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy hiking and the views from the summit are amazing. For example, when I reach the peak I can see sweeping valleys and feel a strong sense of achievement.

× Yes, I look at the window 'cause I want to see some video of greenish by the window, but sometimes dust come to me and I close the window.

✓ Yes, I look out of the window because I want to see some greenery outside, but sometimes dust blows in and I close the window.

Errors: 'look at the window' should be 'look out of the window' for correct preposition and viewpoint (preposition issue, but corrected under present participle context because 'blows' uses present participle concept); 'some video of greenish' is incorrect noun/adjective use and word choice — 'greenery' correctly refers to plants; 'dust come to me' is incorrect verb form and collocation — use 'dust blows in'. Suggestion: Use correct prepositions ('out of'), correct noun choices ('greenery'), and use the correct verb form for present simple with third-person singular or general statements ('dust blows in').

× Yes, uh, when I travel, I like to take photos by the window because I, I enjoy it. I enjoy to, uh, save memories by taking photos.

✓ Yes, when I travel, I like to take photos from the window because I enjoy saving memories by taking photos.

Errors: 'take photos by the window' is a preposition choice; better is 'from the window' (preposition issue). 'I enjoy to, uh, save memories' incorrectly uses 'enjoy' with an infinitive; 'enjoy' requires a gerund ('enjoy saving'). Suggestion: Use 'enjoy' + -ing form and prefer 'from the window' for camera vantage point.

× It depends, but if I talk to in a particular one it should be mountain because I like to hiking on the mountain and at the peak of the mountain the view views are amazing to see.

✓ It depends, but if I had to choose one, it would be the mountains because I like hiking on them, and the views from the peak are amazing.

Errors: 'talk to in a particular one' is incorrect phrasing and pronoun use — replace with 'had to choose one' (sentence structure and pronoun/reference). 'it should be mountain' lacks article and number — use 'the mountains' or 'a mountain' (article/plural issues). 'I like to hiking' mixes infinitive and gerund — use 'like hiking' or 'like to hike' (verb form issue). 'the view views' is redundant; use 'the views'. Suggestion: Use clear choice expressions ('had to choose one'), correct article/number for nouns, match verb forms ('like hiking'), and avoid redundant words.