Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答需要更直接并且语言更流畅，尽量避免填充词（如 umm、uh）。开头用一句主题句直接回应问题，然后用一到两句话具体说明原因或感受，使用连接词使句子更连贯，例如 because、so 或 and。注意词汇搭配，例如用 "the point of a journey" 或 "the joy of travelling" 替代不自然的表达。

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when travelling by bus or car because I enjoy watching changing landscapes. For example, seeing fields and villages pass by helps me relax and notice small details I might miss when I’m busy.

提案: 回答应更具体并给出例子或频率，避免含糊或抽象的表述。用更贴切的词语描述拍照目的，例如 "to capture memories" 或 "to remember the view"。用连接词（for example, because）来扩展细节。减少填充词并确保语句清晰。

例: Yes, I often take photos of scenery from the car to capture memories. For example, when I see a beautiful sunset or an interesting village, I take a quick photo so I can look back and remember how it felt.

提案: 回答需更自然与具体。先直接表明偏好，然后给出清晰具体的原因和例子，避免语法错误和不连贯的表达（例如 “what I was hiding” 不恰当）。可以用 because 和 so 来连接观点和理由，并描述具体感受（如 calm, peaceful, fresh air）。限制在最多五句内。

例: I prefer the mountains because they are peaceful and I feel relaxed there. For instance, walking on mountain trails and breathing fresh air helps me forget stress and enjoy nature.

× Yes, I like umm, looking out the window at the scenery because I think the key of journal is uh, enjoy the beautiful scene and outside the car or bus.

✓ Yes, I like looking out of the window at the scenery because I think the key to traveling is to enjoy the beautiful views outside the car or bus.

错误类型：动词+ -ing 及其他结构混用，且介词和词语搭配不当。 说明：1) “looking out the window” 更自然的是 “looking out of the window”。 2) 原句中 “the key of journal” 用词错误，意图应为 “the key to traveling/travel” 或类似表达。介词短语应为 “the key to [noun/gerund]”。 3) “is uh, enjoy the beautiful scene and outside the car or bus” 结构混乱，应使用不定式做表语补语： “is to enjoy the beautiful views outside the car or bus”。 建议：把动名词和不定式的用法区分清楚。‘key to + 名词/动名词’ 后面用不定式表示目的或结果更清晰（e.g. the key to traveling is to enjoy ...）。注意介词搭配（look out of the window; views 比 scene 更常用复数）。

× Yes I do, I think photos are the experience of our life. Uh, through these photos we can visit in our feelings.

✓ Yes I do. I think photos are experiences in our lives. Through these photos we can revisit our feelings.

错误类型：过去分词/名词形式与动词短语使用不当，及介词搭配错误。 说明：1) “photos are the experience of our life” 中名词单复数与限定词错配，应为 “photos are experiences in our lives” 或 “photos are part of our life experience”。 2) “we can visit in our feelings” 用词和介词错误，应该用动词 “revisit” 或短语 “recall our feelings”，而不是 “visit in”。 建议：理解 experience 可作可数名词（experiences）或不可数（life experience），根据语境选择；表示“重新回忆/体验感情”用 “revisit/recall/relive” 等动词，后面直接接宾语。

× I prefer the mountains because the mountains are so high and tall. It gives me what I was hiding that I think I'm so relaxed. It gave me special feelings.

✓ I prefer the mountains because they are so high and tall. They make me feel relaxed and give me special feelings.

错误类型：现在时使用和主谓一致问题、代词使用不当、时态混用。 说明：1) “the mountains are” 可用代词 “they” 代替以避免重复。 2) “It gives me what I was hiding that I think I'm so relaxed.” 句子结构混乱且时态不一致，应表达为现在时感受： “They make me feel relaxed”。 3) “It gave me special feelings.” 用过去时不符合一般陈述当前感受，应改为现在时 “give me special feelings” 或复合句 “and give me special feelings”。 建议：保持时态一致（描述偏好和常态用现在时）。用正确的代词指代复数名词（they）。用简单明确的表达描述感受，如 “make me feel + 形容词”。