Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and shows personal preference, but it is repetitive and contains hesitations ("umm", "definitely" twice, "public transport or private transport", "umm for example"). To improve: 1) Start with a clear topic sentence. 2) Remove fillers and avoid repeating the same idea. 3) Add one specific detail (when or why) linked with a connector. Aim for 2–3 concise sentences.

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel because I enjoy watching the weather and passing scenery. For example, I prefer to sit at the front so I can get an unobstructed view of the road and buildings.

提案: Good idea and personal reason, but the answer is long, repetitive and contains grammar problems ("car car window", "catch the nature", "see that pictures"). To improve: 1) Use a clear topic sentence. 2) Correct grammar and reduce redundancy. 3) Add a specific example of a photo subject and how it helps you, using a linking word like "because" or "so".

例: Yes, I often take photos of the view from the car because I like capturing natural scenes. For instance, I took a photo of a sunset last month which I now look at when I need to relax.

提案: Your preference is clear and you gave an example, but the response has hesitations, short fragments, and weak grammar ("feel very peaceful, relax", "There is a water"). To improve: 1) State the preference clearly in one sentence. 2) Use linking words (e.g., "because", "for example") and complete sentences for the example. 3) Give one specific sensory detail (sound, smell, view) to support why the sea/ water relaxes you.

例: I prefer the sea because being near water makes me feel calm and peaceful. For example, last week I visited South Lake where the gentle sound of the fountain and the cool breeze helped me relax completely.

× And definitely I look out the window at the scenery when travelling by a public transport or private transport because I love to see the weather outside and I always prefer to umm sit on the front seat because I can clearly see outside UMM for example.

✓ And definitely I look out of the window at the scenery when travelling by public transport or private transport, because I love to see the weather outside, and I always prefer to sit in the front seat because I can clearly see outside, for example.

Errors: unnecessary articles 'a' before uncountable noun 'public transport'; incorrect preposition 'out the window' should be 'out of the window'; use 'in the front seat' not 'on the front seat'. Suggestions: remove 'a' before 'public transport' and 'private transport', change 'out the window' to 'out of the window', and use 'sit in the front seat'. Also reduce fillers (umm) for clarity.

× Definitely, I love to take pictures of the scenery outside the car car window because I really love to catch the nature and whenever I feel any stress at that time, I prefer to see my gallery and see that pictures which I have enjoyed at that time like I remember.

✓ Definitely, I love to take pictures of the scenery outside the car window because I really love to capture nature, and whenever I feel stressed, I prefer to look at my gallery and see the pictures I enjoyed at that time.

Errors: 'catch the nature' is incorrect collocation — use 'capture nature'; 'whenever I feel any stress at that time' is wordy and tense/ form awkward — use adjective 'stressed'; 'see that pictures' has article/number error and wrong relative clause — use 'the pictures I enjoyed'. Suggestions: use correct verb collocations ('capture'), simplify and use adjective 'stressed', and fix article/relative clause to 'the pictures I enjoyed'.

× I prefer sea because when I go near the water, I feel very peaceful, relax.

✓ I prefer the sea because when I go near the water, I feel very peaceful and relaxed.

Errors: missing article 'the' before 'sea' when talking about the sea in general; 'relax' is verb form but needs adjective 'relaxed' to describe feeling; connect adjectives with 'and'. Suggestions: use 'the sea' and 'relaxed' to correctly describe state.

× For example, last week I went to the, uh, South Lake. There is a water and in the center of the water is a fountain, uh, which really relaxed me.

✓ For example, last week I went to South Lake. There was water, and in the centre of the water there was a fountain, which really relaxed me.

Errors: tense inconsistency — describing a past event requires past tense 'there was' rather than 'there is'; 'a water' is incorrect: use 'water' (uncountable) or omit 'a'. Suggestions: use past tense consistently for past events ('went', 'there was'), and remove the indefinite article before uncountable noun 'water'.