Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and sentence structure, reduce repetition, and make the response more concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Correct verb forms (e.g., "when I travel"), countable/uncountable mistakes ("scenery" not "sceneries"), and odd phrases ("on cards" → "by car"). Avoid filler words and hesitation.

例: I usually look out the window when I travel by car or bus because it helps me relax. For example, I like watching changing landscapes and small towns pass by, which gives me a peaceful break from screens. Therefore, I often spend the journey observing the scenery instead of using my phone.

提案: Make answers clearer and more fluent by using correct collocations and fewer hesitations. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., "because", "so"). Choose precise vocabulary: "take photos" or "snap photos", "scenery" singular/uncountable, and avoid repeating words. Also provide one concrete example of a memorable photo.

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window because beautiful views can disappear quickly. For instance, last summer I photographed a sunset over rolling hills, and the picture now reminds me of that calm evening.

提案: Structure the response with a clear topic sentence stating your preference conditionally, then explain with specific reasons and examples. Correct grammar: use "depends on my mood or who I'm traveling with", "go to the mountains", "by the sea". Avoid fragmented sentences and fillers. Provide a concise contrast using linking words such as "however" or "but".

例: It depends on my mood and who I am with; I enjoy the mountains with friends because we can camp and have barbecues, but I prefer the sea when I travel alone because I find sitting by the shore more peaceful. For example, last year I went to a coastal town alone and spent hours reading on the beach, which felt very calming.

× I really enjoy looking out the windows at the sceneries when I travelling on cards or bus.

✓ I really enjoy looking out of the window at the scenery when I travel by car or bus.

Errors: 'looking out the windows' -> preposition and article should be 'looking out of the window' for general habit; 'the sceneries' -> uncountable 'scenery'; 'when I travelling' -> missing auxiliary/gerund form and tense: should be 'when I travel' (present simple for habitual action); 'on cards or bus' -> wrong preposition and plural: 'by car or bus'. Suggestion: use 'look out of the window', 'scenery' (uncountable), present simple 'I travel', and 'by' with transport modes.

× I think it is kind of a way to find the relaxation.

✓ I think it is a way to relax.

Errors: wordy and unnatural structure 'find the relaxation' and unnecessary filler 'kind of'. Use infinitive 'to relax' to express purpose. Suggestion: say 'a way to relax' for clarity and naturalness.

× We spend too much time on form to looking at forms and the reader text message and it's just a very exhausting and, uh, looking out of the windows.

✓ We spend too much time looking at our phones and reading text messages, which is very exhausting, so looking out of the window is relaxing.

Errors: awkward word order and wrong prepositions 'on form to looking at forms', incorrect noun 'the reader', repetition, and sentence fragment. Reconstruct sentence with clear subject-verb structure and correct nouns 'phones' and 'text messages'. Use relative clause 'which is' to connect ideas.

× It is time to for, for take a break and enjoy.

✓ It is time to take a break and enjoy it.

Errors: extra preposition 'for, for' and wrong verb form 'take' after misplaced preposition. Correct phrase is 'It is time to' + base verb. Add object 'it' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'It is time to take a break'.

× I think I do that.

✓ I think I do that.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable. No correction needed. Suggestion: keep as is or say 'I usually do' for clarity about habit.

× I quite enjoy, uh, snapshots a beautiful the photography photography because when the the beautiful pictures, it's just passing and it is very hard to remember it's for long.

✓ I quite enjoy taking photos because beautiful scenes pass quickly and it is hard to remember them for long.

Errors: incorrect noun 'snapshots a beautiful the photography photography', articles doubled, and awkward clause 'when the the beautiful pictures, it's just passing'. Use verb 'take photos' and 'scenes pass quickly' to express fleeting moments. Remove filler and duplicate words.

× So taking the photos will help me to remember this beautiful moment.

✓ So taking photos helps me remember beautiful moments.

Original is grammatically acceptable but slightly wordy. Use present simple 'helps' to express general truth and remove unnecessary 'the' and 'to' for natural phrasing.

× So I will definitely take the photos of the outside sceneries.

✓ So I will definitely take photos of the scenery outside.

Errors: 'the outside sceneries' uses plural 'sceneries' and unnecessary article. Use uncountable 'scenery' and place 'outside' after the noun or use 'the scenery outside'. Suggestion: 'take photos of the scenery outside'.

× I think it is definitely depending on the mood of a mind at that moment or whom I'm not traveling with.

✓ I think it definitely depends on my mood at that moment and on who I am traveling with.

Errors: incorrect verb form 'is depending' should be simple present 'depends' for general statements; 'the mood of a mind' -> possessive 'my mood'; 'whom I'm not traveling with' incorrect pronoun and negation; use 'who I am traveling with'. Suggestion: use 'depends on' + noun phrases.

× So let's say to go to the mountain area.

✓ So let's say we go to the mountains.

Errors: unnecessary infinitive 'to go to' after 'let's say' and wrong 'mountain area'. Use 'let's say we go to the mountains' for hypothetical example.

× Normally people go mountains for camping for it's uh, do the BBQ.

✓ Normally people go to the mountains for camping and to have a barbecue.

Errors: missing preposition 'to the mountains', awkward 'for it's uh, do the BBQ'. Use parallel infinitives 'for camping and to have a barbecue'. Suggestion: 'barbecue' or 'BBQ' as noun.

× But if it's just myself, it will be very boring.

✓ But if I'm alone, it will be very boring.

Errors: incorrect reflexive pronoun 'myself' used as subject/complement. Use 'I'm alone' or 'it's just me'. Suggestion: avoid reflexive unless necessary.

× But if it's by the seat, I can't just sit by the seat to find the serenity.

✓ But if I'm by the sea, I can just sit by the sea to find serenity.

Errors: 'by the seat' is a misspelling of 'sea' and repeated 'by the seat'. Correct is 'by the sea' for seaside; 'find the serenity' -> 'find serenity' (no article). Suggestion: use 'by the sea' and drop 'the' before 'serenity'.