Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 语法与时态不一致，句子结构混乱，表达重复。回答应直接回应问题并使用现在时或习惯性现在时（例如“I often look”），主句后用一到两个具体的细节支持；避免冗长且重复的短语（例如“take this memory, put this memory on my mind”）。可加入连词（because, so, and）使衔接更自然。

例: Yes, I often look out of the car window when I travel because I enjoy seeing changing landscapes. For example, I like watching fields and small villages pass by, which helps me relax. Sometimes I take photos to remember interesting views and show them to my family.

提案: 表达不清楚且有词汇错误（如“salary”），句子冗长且重复。回答应直接说明是否拍照，给出一至两个清晰的理由并用恰当的过渡词（because, so, and）连接。尽量使用准确词汇（memory, share, social media）。

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the window because it helps me keep memories of the trip. I usually upload a few pictures to social media so my friends and family can see them, and later I can look back at them.

提案: 句子结构混乱，词汇使用不准确（如“prefer like to see”，“mountain print of mountain agency”），观点不够清晰。应先给出明确的偏好（mountains or the sea），然后用两到三句具体且有逻辑的原因支持，使用连接词（because, also, moreover）。避免无意义填充词。

例: I prefer the sea because I enjoy water activities like swimming and kayaking. Also, seaside areas often have good seafood restaurants, so I can relax and eat well after spending time on the beach.

× Yes, I often looked out the window at the scenery when travel by car.

✓ Yes, I often look out the window at the scenery when I travel by car.

句子中时态和动词形式不一致。“often”表示习惯性现在动作，应使用现在时“look”。此外缺少主语“I”与动词“travel”之间的连词“when I travel”。建议使用一般现在时并补全主语。

× It allows me to grab this scenery during the travel and it's such a healthy way to take this memory, put this memory on my mind.

✓ It allows me to enjoy the scenery during the trip, and it's a healthy way to keep the memory in my mind.

句中用词不当和冠词错误：“crawl this scenery”并不地道，使用“enjoy the scenery”更自然；“the travel”应为“the trip”或“travel”不用冠词；“take this memory, put this memory on my mind”结构重复且不自然，改为“keep the memory in my mind”。建议使用更自然的短语并避免重复。

× Plus, you can take these photos and share your parents and.

✓ Plus, you can take photos and share them with your parents.

原句中缺少介词“with”并且“share your parents”结构错误，应为“share something with someone”。此外“these photos”改为“photos”或“them”更自然。建议使用“share them with your parents”。

× Yes, I often take the photo of the scenery and plus I want to do it more often because I think it's a healthy way to take this salary until your parents and friends, plus you can share on your social media.

✓ Yes, I often take photos of the scenery, and I'd like to do it more often because I think it's a healthy way to keep memories to share with your parents and friends; plus you can post them on social media.

句子时态和用词混乱：“take the photo”应为习惯性复数“take photos”；“I want to do it more often”可以更礼貌地用“I'd like to”；“take this salary until your parents and friends”是不正确的词组，应为“keep memories to share with your parents and friends”；“share on your social media”要用“post them on social media”。建议分句清晰，使用正确短语。

× Then you have any time you can, you can turn back this memory.

✓ Then at any time you can look back on these memories.

原句语序和搭配错误：“Then you have any time you can, you can turn back this memory”语法混乱。改为“at any time you can look back on these memories”，使用正确的时间短语和动词短语“look back on”。建议使用简洁的固定搭配。

× I prefer like to see because in my city there is a lot more and more mountain print of mountain agency every day.

✓ I prefer the mountains because my city has more and more mountains every year.

原句结构混乱且有无意义词组（如“like to see”“mountain print of mountain agency”）。回答意图是偏好山景，故改为简洁的表达“prefer the mountains”并说明“my city has more and more mountains every year”。建议用清晰的因果或说明句。

× Umm Plus when you are staying on the sea you can do some sea sports and after that there has some restaurant warehouse where which have some seafood you can eat after you do some sports.

✓ Also, when you are at the seaside you can do some water sports, and afterwards there are some restaurants that serve seafood which you can eat after your activities.

原句中介词和名词搭配错误：“staying on the sea”应为“at the seaside”；“sea sports”更常说“water sports”；“there has some restaurant warehouse”语法错误，正确用法是“there are some restaurants that serve seafood”；“you can eat after you do some sports”改为“you can eat after your activities”。建议使用正确的介词短语和名词搭配，并使用从句或定语更清晰地修饰。