Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and shows a clear opinion, but it is slightly long-winded and has hesitations and repetition (‘scene or the scenery’, ‘along the street or along the way’). To improve, state a concise topic sentence, remove filler words, and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word (e.g., “for example” or “because”). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I often look out of the window because I enjoy the changing scenery. For example, I like watching local towns and countryside pass by, which makes the journey more interesting. This helps me relax and notice details I would miss if I focused only on the destination.

提案: Good content and clear reason, but there are hesitations and vague phrases (‘something happened’, ‘umm’). Improve by using precise vocabulary (e.g., ‘unexpected scenes’, ‘striking views’), remove fillers, and combine ideas with a linking word (e.g., ‘because’ or ‘so’) to be more concise and fluent.

例: Yes, sometimes I take photos of striking views outside the window because they capture moments I want to remember. For instance, I once photographed a dramatic sunset over farmland, and the photo reminds me of that peaceful journey.

提案: Clear personal preference and brief explanation are good, but there is some awkward phrasing and repetition (‘like to climbing, climb the mountains and going hiking’). Make one clear topic sentence stating your preference, then give a specific reason with correct grammar and a linking word such as ‘because’ or ‘so’.

例: I prefer the mountains now because I enjoy hiking and being in quiet natural surroundings. For example, I like climbing local trails on weekends since it helps me exercise and relax away from crowded beaches.

× I think the most significant part of the trip is the scene or the scenery along the street or along the way because, uh, we do not only have the destination to pay attention to, but also the way.

✓ I think the most significant part of the trip is the scenery along the street or along the way because we do not only have the destination to pay attention to, but also the route.

This sentence has redundancy and word-choice issues rather than strict plural/singular errors. 'Scene or the scenery' is redundant; use 'scenery' (uncountable). 'Way' is vague; 'route' or 'journey' is more natural. Remove filler words like 'uh' and unnecessary commas. Keep tense and meaning unchanged. Grammar problem type ID: 14

× Yes, sometimes when I see umm some surprising sceneries or something happened or just umm I was shocked by the beautiful view.

✓ Yes, sometimes when I see some surprising scenery, when something happens, or when I am shocked by a beautiful view, I take photos.

'Sceneries' is incorrect because 'scenery' is an uncountable noun; use 'scenery' not 'sceneries'. The clause 'something happened' uses past tense incorrectly in this context; use 'when something happens' or rephrase. Use parallel structure for the three conditions and present tense 'I take' to match habitual action. Grammar problem type ID: 1

× I would take photos of the scenery.

✓ I take photos of the scenery.

Using 'would' suggests conditional or habitual past. The student means a habitual present action; use simple present 'I take'. Alternatively, 'I would take photos' could be acceptable in narrative past, but context is present habits. Grammar problem type ID: 9

× It helps me to remember the scene along the way.

✓ It helps me remember the scenery along the way.

Again, 'scene' is less appropriate than the uncountable 'scenery'. Also, 'helps me to remember' is acceptable, but 'helps me remember' is more natural. Maintain present tense. Grammar problem type ID: 14

× I was born in a coastal city so I used to love the sea very much, but nowadays as I grow older, I prefer the mountains because I would like to climbing, climb the mountains and going hiking in nature.

✓ I was born in a coastal city so I used to love the sea very much, but nowadays as I grow older, I prefer the mountains because I would like to climb the mountains and go hiking in nature.

Errors include incorrect verb forms: 'would like to climbing' should be 'would like to climb' (infinitive after 'would like to'), and 'going hiking' should be 'go hiking' to keep parallel infinitive structure. 'Used to love' is fine for past habit; 'nowadays as I grow older' mixes present progressive 'grow' with 'nowadays' but is acceptable to express gradual change. Keep tenses consistent and use correct verb forms after 'would like to'. 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