Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: まず話の主張（トピック文）を簡潔に述べ、その後で具体例を1〜2点挙げる流れを意識してください。現在の回答は文法ミス（they are→there are, The two no just places→unclear）や冗長表現があり、論理のつながり（linking words）も弱いです。改善のため、正しい語順と単語選択を使い、接続詞（for example, such as, and）で文をつなぎ、文の数は最大5文に収めてください。具体的には「I do look out of the window because... For example,...」という構成を練習しましょう。また“unfamiliar landscape”の代わりに“scenery”や“new places”など自然な表現を選んでください。

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel because I enjoy new scenery. For example, I like seeing mountains and lakes because they are peaceful and different from my hometown. Also, watching the landscape helps me relax during long journeys.

提案: まず直接に質問に答え（Yes/No）、その理由を簡潔に述べ、具体例や結果（result）を1文で添える練習をしてください。現在はためらいの「uh」が多く、文法ミス（a photos→photos / taking a photos→taking photos）や表現の不自然さ（it is hard to remind me of these photos→I have trouble remembering them）があります。改善点は、躊躇語を減らし、正しい名詞・動詞の形と自然なフレーズ（for example, when I review them later）を使うことです。

例: No, I don't usually take photos from a car because it's difficult to get clear shots. For example, the windows and motion make pictures blurry, and when I look at them later I often can't remember where they were taken.

提案: 好みをまず明確に述べ、その理由を具体的に1〜2点述べてください。現在は短い文が断片的で、意味が曖昧な表現（Such water temperatures→unclear）や不要なフィラー（uh, umm）が目立ちます。改善策はフィラーを減らし、理由を具体的に説明することです（e.g. childhood activities, atmosphere, sounds）。また“water temperatures”は不自然なので“sea and river near my home”や“the sound and smell of the sea”など具体的な感覚を示す表現を使ってください。

例: I prefer the sea because I grew up near the coast and it reminds me of childhood days. For example, I used to play by the shore and listen to the waves, and the sea's smell and sound always make me feel relaxed.

× This is because they are a lot of beautiful and attractive scenery such as mountains and lakes and so on.

✓ This is because there is a lot of beautiful and attractive scenery such as mountains and lakes.

The original uses 'they' incorrectly to refer to 'scenery' and also mixes plural pronoun with uncountable noun. Use 'there is' for existence and treat 'scenery' as uncountable. Also remove 'and so on' for conciseness. Suggestion: use 'there is' + noun phrase and avoid substituting 'scenery' with plural pronouns.

× The two no just places.

✓ Those are not just places.

The original is ungrammatical with wrong word order and incorrect words ('two' instead of 'those', 'no' instead of 'not', 'just' misplaced). Correct structure: demonstrative pronoun + auxiliary verb + negation + adjective + noun. Suggestion: check word order for negation and use 'those' to refer to previously mentioned things.

× No, I don't uh, and this is because I'm not good at taking a photos from, from car.

✓ No, I don't, and this is because I'm not good at taking photos from a car.

Use plural 'photos' without the article 'a' when speaking generally, or use 'a photo' for singular. Also include the indefinite article before 'car' when specifying a vehicle: 'a car'. Remove filler repetition. Suggestion: 'taking photos from a car' or 'taking a photo from a car' depending on intended meaning.

× Uh, so if I take some photos, uh, it is hard to remind me of these photos when I come back to my home.

✓ So if I take some photos, it is hard for me to remember them when I come back home.

Use 'hard for me to remember' rather than 'hard to remind me of', which incorrectly uses 'remind' in passive. Use 'remember them' to refer back to photos. Omit 'my' before 'home' in common usage. Suggestion: use 'remember' with object pronoun and appropriate preposition 'back home' or 'when I get home'.

× I prefer the sea.

✓ I prefer the sea.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No article change needed because 'the sea' is correct when referring to the sea in general or a specific sea. Keep as is.

× In my hometown, I always watch the sea and river.

✓ In my hometown, I always watch the sea and the river.

When listing specific things like 'sea and river' that are known in context, include the definite article 'the' before both nouns. Alternatively, use plural 'seas and rivers' if speaking generally. Suggestion: decide between definite ('the sea and the river') or general ('seas and rivers') and keep articles consistent.

× Such water temperatures always remind me of past memories.

✓ The water's temperature always reminds me of past memories.

'Such water temperatures' is awkward; if referring to temperature of the water in hometown, use 'the water's temperature' or 'the water temperature'. Also 'remind me of past memories' is redundant because 'remind me of memories' repeats idea; better: 'remind me of past events' or simply 'remind me of memories'. Suggestion: 'The water's temperature always reminds me of past memories' or 'The water temperature always reminds me of past events'.