Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer addresses the question but is unclear and contains grammar and vocabulary errors, hesitations and repetition. To improve: 1) Start with a clear topic sentence: say you prefer travelling by car and why. 2) Use correct verb forms and simple, natural phrases (e.g., “I prefer travelling by car because I can stop when I want”). 3) Avoid filler sounds and repetition; pause briefly instead. 4) Add one or two specific supporting details using linking words (for example, “so” or “for instance”) to make it coherent. Focus on clarity and fluency.

例: I prefer travelling by car because it allows me to stop whenever I want. For example, if I see a nice view I can pull over and enjoy some tea and snacks. This makes car journeys more relaxing and flexible than travelling by bus.

提案: Good content and enthusiasm, but the answer has grammar mistakes, awkward phrasing, and some unclear images (e.g., “river are flying”). To improve: 1) Use correct verb patterns (e.g., “I love taking pictures”). 2) Replace vague or incorrect expressions with precise phrases (e.g., “rivers flowing” not “flying”). 3) Organise supporting details with a linking word like “for example” or “especially” and keep sentences concise. 4) Limit to three to four sentences to stay natural and focused.

例: Yes, I love taking pictures from the car window. For example, I often photograph mountain ranges and rivers that are flowing alongside the road. I especially enjoy capturing agricultural landscapes because they change with the seasons.

提案: Your answer clearly states a preference but is repetitive and has grammar errors. To improve: 1) Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference. 2) Add two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., “because” and “for example”). 3) Vary vocabulary to avoid repeating “love” too often (use enjoy, appreciate, fascinated by). 4) Keep sentences concise and avoid unnecessary repetition.

例: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy their peaceful atmosphere and beautiful scenery. For example, I like learning about local mountain traditions and trying regional cuisine, which I find very tasty. I also enjoy hiking and exploring rural villages when I travel to mountain areas.

× I prefer a car for traveling and they sink outside the window, the scenery, the view I see because the own car was uh, on vehicle.

✓ I prefer traveling by car because I can see the scenery outside the window; it is my own vehicle.

The original sentence has unclear structure and incorrect pronoun use ('they sink'), unnecessary fragments ('the view I see because the own car was uh, on vehicle'). This is a sentence structure error (ID 26) and also involves incorrect pronoun/article use. To improve, reorder the sentence: state preference, give the reason, and use correct pronouns and articles. Use 'traveling by car' and 'my own vehicle' or simply 'my own car'.

× We, we stopped the car when we want uh, and enjoy some tea and some snacks.

✓ We stop the car when we want to and enjoy some tea and snacks.

The sentence mixes tenses and has redundant words and missing infinitive marker ('to'). This is a sentence structure error (ID 26) and present tense issue (ID 6). Keep present simple for habitual action: 'We stop... when we want to' and omit extra words ('uh', repeated 'we').

× Yes, I love to taking pictures outside the car window.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures outside the car window.

Using 'love to taking' mixes infinitive and -ing forms; after verbs like 'love' you can use either 'love to take' or 'love taking'. This is a Verb + -ing form error (ID 8). Use 'love taking' or 'love to take'.

× The view is like mountains are uh in the view and the river are flying.

✓ The view has mountains in it and the river flows.

The original uses two finite verbs awkwardly and incorrect plural agreement ('river are'). This is a subject-verb agreement and sentence structure error (ID 27 and 26). Use a clear structure: 'The view has mountains' and correct verb for river: 'the river flows' or 'the river is flowing'.

× I love to take the picture of landscape filled agriculture, especially in the mountain areas.

✓ I love to take pictures of agricultural landscapes, especially in the mountain areas.

The phrase 'picture of landscape filled agriculture' is ungrammatical; word order and noun forms are wrong. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26) and incorrect use of adjectives/pronouns. Use 'pictures of agricultural landscapes' to be natural and grammatical.

× I always take a camera with me and take the pictures of everything.

✓ I always take a camera with me and take pictures of everything.

'Take the pictures of everything' is unnaturally specific; use 'take pictures of everything'. This is a Verb + -ing/usage issue (ID 8) and article error (ID 22). Drop 'the' before 'pictures' for general meaning.

× I always prefer the mountains because I love mountains.

✓ I always prefer the mountains because I love them.

Repetition of 'mountains' is awkward; replace the second noun with pronoun 'them'. This is a present tense/ pronoun use and style issue (ID 6 and 12). Use 'them' to avoid repetition.

× I always explore the mountains and travel in the mountains.

✓ I often explore and travel in the mountains.

Using 'always' with activities that are not literally continuous is unnatural; use 'often' or 'frequently'. This is a present tense/word choice issue (ID 6) and sentence style (26). Also combine verbs to avoid repetition.

× I love to. I love to know the tradition about mountain peoples and their cuisines are also very nice and tasty.

✓ I love to learn about the traditions of mountain people, and their cuisine is also very nice and tasty.

Fragments like 'I love to.' are incomplete (sentence without a verb/content). The clause 'their cuisines are also very nice and tasty' misuses plural 'cuisines' and awkward phrasing. This is a sentence structure error and article/pronoun use (ID 26 and 22). Use 'learn about the traditions' and 'their cuisine is' for clarity and correct agreement.

× I love mountain areas.

✓ I love mountain areas.

This sentence is grammatically correct as written. No change needed; it uses plural correctly to refer generally to mountain regions. No error from the provided list.