Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve fluency and grammar: avoid filler sounds (uh), use correct verb forms, and make sentences concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words (for example, because / so / and). Also correct countable/uncountable and adjective use (moving vs movements, fascinating, interesting).

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy looking out of the window because the changing scenery is interesting and relaxing. For example, I like watching people walk along the streets and noticing small details like shops and trees, which makes the journey more enjoyable.

提案: Work on grammar, conciseness and vocabulary: use correct verb forms (love capturing / love to capture), avoid repetition, and choose natural phrases (keep those views in my memory or save them on my phone). Limit to one main idea plus a specific reason or example. Use linking words like because or so.

例: Yes, I do. I like to capture scenery with my phone because I can save special moments and look back at them later. For example, when I see an unusual sunset from the car, I take a picture so I can remember the colours and atmosphere.

提案: Improve clarity and sentence structure: give a direct topic sentence (I prefer the sea), then one or two clear, specific reasons without hesitation sounds. Use correct nouns and phrases (the sea / the sound of the waves / a sense of calm). Avoid unclear abbreviations or filler like PM/PS.

例: I prefer the sea. I enjoy being at the beach because the sound of the waves is calming and the fresh sea air helps me relax. For instance, after a busy week I like to walk along the shore and listen to the waves because it clears my mind.

× I love to, uh, watching the scenery outside because the views, uh, movings are really fun and then very fascinating and I catching, I love watching people who are walking and then the people walking is very cute.

✓ I love watching the scenery outside because the views and movements are really fun and very fascinating, and I love watching people who are walking; the people walking are very cute.

Multiple errors: 'love to, uh, watching' mixes infinitive and -ing form; use either 'love to watch' or 'love watching' (Grammar ID 8). 'movings' is not correct plural; use 'movements' or 'motion' (ID 13). 'I catching' is incorrect form; should be 'I catch' or rephrase to 'I love watching' (ID 8/27). Subject-verb agreement: 'the people walking is' should be 'the people walking are' because 'people' is plural (ID 27). Suggestion: choose consistent verb patterns, use 'watching' after 'love', replace incorrect noun forms, and ensure plural subjects take plural verbs.

× Yes, I would say yes, because I love to capturing the moment at the time, capture the moment.

✓ Yes, I would say so, because I love capturing the moment at the time.

'love to capturing' incorrectly mixes 'to' with a gerund; use either 'love to capture' or 'love capturing' (ID 8). Also 'say yes' is better as 'say so' or simply 'yes' for naturalness (ID 26). Suggestion: use consistent verb forms and simplify redundant phrases.

× It's very important nowadays.

✓ It is very important nowadays.

Contraction 'It's' is acceptable in speech, but as a standalone written correction expand to 'It is' for clarity. No grammatical error besides formality; this keeps tense and meaning intact (ID 26). Suggestion: either form is fine; choose based on formality.

× Umm, I cannot miss any chance that I can get to keep those views into my brain.

✓ I cannot miss any chance I get to keep those views in my memory.

Awkward use of 'that I can get' and incorrect preposition 'into my brain.' Use 'chance I get' for natural relative clause (ID 16) and 'in my memory' for correct collocation (ID 11). Suggestion: use natural collocations like 'keep in my memory' or 'remember'.

× So yes, taking photos really good.

✓ So yes, taking photos is really good.

Missing verb 'is' creates sentence fragment; need a linking verb between subject 'taking photos' and adjective 'really good' (ID 23/26). Suggestion: include 'is' or rephrase: 'So yes, taking photos is really nice'.

× I prefer seas because I love staying at the beach because hearing the the wave is coming, the sea waves is coming, the South is very umm.

✓ I prefer the sea because I love staying at the beach and hearing the waves coming; the sea is very calming.

'Seas' is unnatural when referring to the seaside; use singular 'the sea' (ID 1). Repetition 'the wave is coming' and 'the sea waves is coming' have subject-verb agreement errors: 'waves' plural needs 'are' (ID 27) and 'the South is very umm' is unclear; likely meant 'the sea is very calm' (ID 26). Suggestion: use 'the sea' or 'the seaside', use plural verb agreement with 'waves are', and choose clear adjectives like 'calming' or 'calm'.

× You can sense a piece of a sense of calm and then the PM.

✓ You can sense a feeling of calm, and then the peace.

Awkward phrase 'a piece of a sense of calm' and unclear 'the PM' (probably 'peace' or 'calmness'). 'You can sense a feeling of calm' is natural (ID 12). Suggestion: use concise nouns like 'a sense of calm' or 'a feeling of peace' and avoid unclear abbreviations.

× PS I love those kind of feelings.

✓ P.S. I love those kinds of feelings.

'Those kind of feelings' should be plural agreement 'those kinds of feelings' or 'that kind of feeling' (ID 26/1). Also format 'P.S.' when used. Suggestion: match singular/plural and use standard postscript punctuation.