Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 句子结构混乱，时态和词汇使用不准确，回答不够直接。建议先用一句话直接回答问题，然后用1–2个简短的支持句解释原因，注意时态一致和常用词汇（例如 "usually", "do homework", "listen to music", "relax"）。避免冗长或无意义的短语（如“b-day”）。

例: No, I usually don’t look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I’m a busy university student, so I often do my homework or listen to music during the journey. Sometimes I also nap to rest between classes.

提案: 内容表达含糊且有错误词汇（如“Satan”应为“scenery/memories”），时态不一致。建议先直接回答“yes/no”，然后用一两句说明拍照的原因和对象，使用连词如“because”或“so”。注意用正确词汇（"beautiful scenery", "memories"）。

例: Yes, I often take photos through the car window when I travel. I do this because the landscapes are beautiful and photographing them helps me remember the places I’ve visited.

提案: 理由表达不清晰，词汇和句子结构不准确（如“baroque pro”无意义）。建议先直接给出偏好，然后用一到两句清晰说明理由，例如天气、活动或感受。使用连接词如“because”或“so”，并用合适的词汇（"relaxing", "tiring", "hiking"）。

例: I prefer the sea because I find it more relaxing than the mountains. Mountain trips often involve long, tiring hikes, while the beach is better for resting and enjoying the view.

× No, I am a university student who is b-day every day.

✓ No, I am a university student and I am busy every day.

句子结构不正确且单词拼写错误。“who is b-day every day”没有意义。应使用并列结构连接身份说明和日常状态，且将“b-day”更正为“busy”。建议：使用简单清晰的句子结构，例如“I am a university student and I am busy every day.”（我是大学生，而且我每天都很忙）。

× So when I was traveling by bus or car I often do homework and listen to music and sleep on bus or car.

✓ So when I travel by bus or by car I often do homework, listen to music, and sleep on the bus or in the car.

时态混用：前半句用过去进行时“was traveling”，而后面却用一般现在时“do homework/ listen”。因为描述的是经常性的习惯行为，应使用一般现在时。此外，介词搭配要注意：在车上用“on the bus”或“in the car”。建议：描述习惯用一般现在时，注意介词固定搭配。

× They fail me to relax when I was listen to music.

✓ They fail to help me relax when I listen to music.

动词形式错误与时态混用。“fail me to relax”不自然，应为“fail to help me relax”。“was listen”时态错误，应为一般现在时“listen”与习惯性事实一致。建议：学习常见固定搭配，如“fail to do something”“help someone do something”。

× Yes, I like to take photos when I was traveling and remember outside windows because I think it is very beautiful of of scenery and it helped me to realized and remember Satan.

✓ Yes, I like to take photos when I travel and remember the outside view because I think the scenery is very beautiful, and it helps me to relax and remember the moment.

时态不一致：先用“was traveling”改为一般现在时“travel”以表达习惯。短语“remember outside windows”和“it is very beautiful of of scenery”语序与介词错误，且重复拼写错误。动词“helped me to realized and remember Satan”含义混乱且拼写错误，应为“helps me to relax and remember the moment”。建议：保持时态一致，注意词序，避免拼写错误并使用正确词汇表达意图。

× I like to take photos when I was traveling and remember outside windows

✓ I like to take photos when I travel and remember the view outside the window

介词和名词短语顺序错误：应为“the view outside the window”（窗外的景色），而不是“remember outside windows”。同时时态应为一般现在时以表示习惯。建议：常用表达“the view outside the window”或“the scenery outside”。

× because I think it is very beautiful of of scenery

✓ because I think the scenery is very beautiful

形容词/短语使用与词序错误，且有重复拼写“of of”。正确结构为“the scenery is very beautiful”。建议：直接用“the scenery is very beautiful”表达美丽含义。

× and it helped me to realized and remember Satan.

✓ and it helps me relax and remember the moment.

代词和词汇使用错误：“Satan”显然是误用单词，应为“the moment”或“that scene”；“helped”与整体时态不符，且“realized”形式错误，应为“relax”或“remember”。建议：检查拼写并确保代词和名词符合语境，保持时态一致。

× I prefer sea because they have a lot of baroque pro in the mountains.

✓ I prefer the sea because there are a lot of problems in the mountains.

代词与主谓结构错误。“they have a lot of baroque pro in the mountains”中“they”指代不明，且“baroque pro”无意义，应为“problems”或其他合适名词。使用“there are”来表示存在更自然。建议：用“the sea”表示泛指海，使用“there are”引出存在状况。

× We can need a long time work.

✓ We may need a long time to work there.

“There be”类问题与句子结构不完整。“We can need a long time work”语序和助动词误用。应说“We may need a long time to work”或“We may need to work for a long time”。建议：使用“need to do something”或“need something”并注意不定式或介词短语的搭配。

× It is very tired so I don't like mountains, I like sea.

✓ It is very tiring, so I don't like mountains; I like the sea.

形容词/动词混用：原句用“tired”描述事物，实际应用现在分词形容词“tiring”来描述使人感到累的事物。另外“sea”前需定冠词“the sea”以指代特定类型的地理环境。建议：区分“tiring” (使人疲倦的) 与 “tired” (感到累的)；海一般用“the sea”。