Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and shows enthusiasm, but it contains some unnatural phrasing and slightly vague imagery. Improve clarity by using more natural expressions, correcting grammar (e.g., plural/singular agreement), and keeping the response to a maximum of about 3–4 concise sentences. Use a clear topic sentence then one or two specific supporting details linked with a connective (e.g., because/so/and).

例: Yes, I often look out the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy watching the landscape change. For example, I like seeing fields and trees slide by, which helps me relax and think. This makes journeys feel shorter and more pleasant.

提案: Your answer communicates the idea but has grammatical errors (tense, article use) and hesitations ("umm"). Be concise: give a topic sentence, a brief reason, and a specific example. Avoid filler words and use correct tense and natural collocations (e.g., "when I travel", "capture moments").

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery when I travel because I like to capture special moments. For instance, I usually photograph sunsets or interesting landscapes so I can look back at them later and remember how I felt.

提案: Your meaning is clear but the response has grammar mistakes, awkward word order, and repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words (because/so). Use correct verb forms and natural collocations (e.g., "prefer the sea to the mountains", "I don't enjoy hiking").

例: I prefer the sea to the mountains because I don't enjoy hiking and I find the ocean much more relaxing. When I look at the sea I feel calm and connected to nature, especially when I listen to the waves and watch the horizon.

× I often do that.

✓ I often do.

Redundant pronoun 'that' is unnecessary after 'do' in this context. Saying 'I often do' is more natural when responding to the question about looking out the window. Suggestion: use concise responses that mirror the question, e.g. 'I often do.'

× I love to see the beautiful scene passing by and the tree is like fluid and resonates with the whole environment.

✓ I love watching the beautiful scenery passing by; the trees seem to flow and blend with the whole environment.

Several issues: 'see' is grammatically acceptable but 'watching' fits continuous viewing better (Verb form issue related to '-ing' but here choose adjective/adverb category). 'the beautiful scene' should be plural or uncountable 'scenery'. 'the tree is like fluid' is incorrect: 'trees seem to flow' or 'look fluid' is correct. 'resonates with the whole environment' is awkward; 'blend with the environment' is clearer. Suggestion: use 'scenery' for general landscape, plural 'trees', and verbs that match continuous perception (watching, seem, blend).

× Of course, I love to record all of the beautiful scenes when I was traveled, umm, because I think it's a beautiful moment in our memory and I could like reflect all of the beautiful scenes in my brain.

✓ Of course, I love to record all the beautiful scenes when I travel, because I think it's a beautiful moment to remember and I can recall those scenes in my mind.

Tense error: 'when I was traveled' is incorrect — use simple present 'when I travel' to match habitual action. 'All of the beautiful scenes' -> 'all the beautiful scenes' is more natural. 'It's a beautiful moment in our memory' -> 'a beautiful moment to remember' is clearer. 'I could like reflect... in my brain' is ungrammatical; use 'I can recall those scenes in my mind.' Suggestion: use consistent present tense for habitual actions and prefer 'recall' or 'remember' rather than 'reflect in my brain.'

× From my perspective I love see more than mountains, it is because I don't like hiking but when I watching and when I look out to sea I feel calm and I can feel intertwined with the environment.

✓ From my perspective, I prefer the sea to the mountains. I don't like hiking, but when I watch the sea I feel calm and connected to the environment.

Multiple errors: 'I love see more than mountains' is ungrammatical — use 'I prefer the sea to the mountains' for comparisons. 'it is because' is wordy; combine sentences for clarity. 'when I watching' should be 'when I watch' (present tense). 'look out to sea' -> 'look out to sea' is common but 'watch the sea' is smoother. 'I can feel intertwined with the environment' is awkward; 'connected to the environment' is natural. Suggestion: use 'prefer A to B' for comparisons, ensure subject-verb agreement and consistent present tense for habitual actions.