Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 문법 오류(시제, 관사, 복수형 등)가 있습니다. 질문에 직접 답하는 명확한 주제문을 먼저 말하고, 그 다음에 이유를 한두 문장으로 구체적으로 설명하세요. 예를 들어 ‘I like looking out of the window’처럼 시작하고, ‘because’나 ‘so’ 같은 연결어로 이유를 덧붙이세요. 또한 불필요한 중복(예: every single scenery, traveling by everyone)을 피하고 단어 선택을 정확히 하세요.

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy watching the changing scenery. For example, I like spotting different types of buildings and trees as we move, which helps me relax and pass the time.

提案: 답은 비교적 명확하지만 문장이 단편적이고 반복(beautiful scenery, It has to be it)이 있습니다. 간결한 주제문 다음에 구체적 이유와 한 가지 예를 덧붙이세요. 연결어(especially, because, for example)를 올바르게 사용하고, 문장을 완성형으로 유지하세요.

例: Yes, I often take photos from the car window, especially when the view looks particularly beautiful. For example, I once photographed a sunset over a river because it felt special and I wanted to remember that moment.

提案: 의견은 제시되었지만 표현이 어색하고 어휘 사용이 부정확합니다 (grainy things, fresh airs). 먼저 명확한 주제문으로 선호를 밝히고, ‘because’로 연결해 구체적이고 자연스러운 이유를 제시하세요. 적절한 단어(views, fresh air, scenery, peaceful atmosphere 등)를 사용하고 문법(단수·복수, 관사)을 확인하세요.

例: I prefer the mountains to the sea because the scenery is more peaceful and the air feels much fresher. For instance, I enjoy hiking among trees and looking at wide views of valleys, which helps me relax.

× Yeah, of course I look out every single scenery when I traveling by everyone. Vehicles pick.

✓ Yeah, of course I look at every single scene when I travel by any vehicle.

The verb forms do not agree with the subject and some word choices are incorrect. 'Look out' is used with 'at' to refer to observing something; 'scenery' is an uncountable noun so use 'scene' or keep 'scenery' without 'every single'; 'I traveling' is missing the auxiliary and should be 'I travel' for simple present; 'by everyone. Vehicles pick.' is ungrammatical and unclear, corrected to 'by any vehicle.' Suggestion: use simple present for habitual action (I travel), ensure subject-verb agreement, use correct preposition 'look at', and choose correct noun ('scene' or 'scenery').

× Because it's good to see outside.

✓ Because it's good to look outside.

The verb 'see' is correct but collocation is more natural with 'look outside' when referring to actively observing the view. 'See outside' is less idiomatic. Suggestion: use 'look outside' or 'see the view' depending on intended meaning.

× Yeah, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window, especially when it's beautiful scenery.

✓ Yeah, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window, especially when the scenery is beautiful.

The phrase 'it's beautiful scenery' is repetitive and slightly awkward. Using 'when the scenery is beautiful' places the adjective after the subject and matches subject-verb agreement. Suggestion: avoid repetition by rephrasing to 'when the scenery is beautiful' or 'when it's beautiful outside.'

× Because it has to be it. It has to be memorable.

✓ Because it has to be memorable.

The fragment 'Because it has to be it.' is ungrammatical and redundant. Combining the idea into one clear sentence 'Because it has to be memorable.' conveys the intended meaning. Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments and redundancy; express the cause clearly.

× I can say I prefer the mountains to see because I can see the grainy things and get some fresh airs, so that is why I prefer the mountains.

✓ I would say I prefer the mountains because I can see the grains of detail and get some fresh air, so that's why I prefer the mountains.

Issues: 'to see' is unnecessary after 'prefer the mountains'; 'grainy things' is unclear — likely 'grains of detail' or 'detailed views'; 'fresh airs' is incorrect plural; 'so that is why' is wordy, 'so that's why' is natural. Use 'would say' to soften opinion. Suggestion: simplify the sentence, remove redundant infinitives, use correct count/uncount noun forms ('air' uncountable), and choose clearer vocabulary.