Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small grammar and word-choice errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details linked with connectors. Fix errors like “a good way of to pass the time,” missing conjunctions or commas, and plural/singular forms (e.g., “architecture greenery,” “short walks”).

例: Yes — I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I find the passing scenery relaxing. For example, I like noticing changes in the architecture and greenery, which helps me unwind after a busy day and sometimes gives me ideas for photography.

提案: Improve natural phrasing and grammar. Use a clear topic sentence and one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Correct awkward phrases such as “gives me relaxation when I see afterwards” to a natural expression (e.g., “I enjoy looking at them afterwards”).

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window, especially when we pass picturesque areas like mountain ranges or coastal roads. I enjoy looking at those pictures afterwards because they remind me of the journey and help me relax.

提案: Provide a clear direct answer first, then contrast with reasons using linking words. Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, word choice) and remove redundancy. Replace awkward phrases like “mountain mountaining area” and “gives me relax” with natural expressions: “mountains relax me” or “I feel more relaxed at the seashore.”

例: I generally prefer the mountains, although it depends on my mood. For instance, mountains appeal to me because they offer hiking and a sense of adventure, whereas the seashore makes me feel calm and peaceful when I want to unwind.