Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct common errors (e.g., "I'm not good at buses" → "I get motion sickness on buses"; "I keep only trying to laying back" → "I usually lie back and close my eyes"). Avoid redundancy and keep to 2–4 sentences.

例: I usually avoid looking out the window because I get motion sickness on buses, so I lie back and close my eyes. However, if I'm travelling to a place with different scenery or notable landmarks, I try to look out and enjoy the view so I can remember the route and take photos later.

提案: Answer directly and use clearer vocabulary and sentence structure. Begin with a direct yes/no, then give a reason and an example, using linking words (e.g., "because", "so", "for example"). Avoid filler phrases like "I am not into photography" and unclear words like "snatching."

例: Yes, I often take photos from the car window because I want to capture special moments during a trip. For example, I like to photograph unusual landscapes or interesting buildings so I can look back at them after I return home.

提案: Give a clear direct preference and support it with coherent, relevant reasons. Fix factual or logical errors (for mountains, do not mention swimming at the beach unless comparing). Use linking words (e.g., "because", "for example") and avoid hesitation fillers. Keep it to 2–3 sentences with specific details about what you like about the mountains or the sea.

例: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy the peaceful atmosphere and fresh air, especially in the mornings when I can hike or watch the sunrise. For example, I like walking on forest trails and relaxing in a quiet cabin, which helps me unwind more than a busy beach would.

× Honestly I'm not good at buses because I have a motion sickness.

✓ Honestly, I'm not good with buses because I get motion sickness.

The phrase 'have a motion sickness' is incorrect. 'Motion sickness' is an uncountable condition so it should not take the indefinite article 'a'. Also use 'good with buses' or 'good at riding buses'; use 'get' to describe experiencing a temporary condition (present simple habitual: 'I get motion sickness'). Add a comma after 'Honestly' for clarity.

× That's why I keep only trying to laying back closing my eyes.

✓ That's why I keep trying to lie back and close my eyes.

After 'keep trying to' the base form of the verb (to lie) is required, not the -ing form. 'Laying' is the present participle of 'lay' (to put something down), while 'lie' (to recline) is the correct verb. Also use 'and' to connect the two actions and remove 'only' or place it appropriately: 'keep trying to' conveys repetition.

× But if there is like I'm going to a different city from the landmarks, the landscape I used to live in, I try to.

✓ But if I'm going to a different city or to a place with unfamiliar landmarks and landscapes, I try to take photos.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear ('there is like' is colloquial filler). Reconstruct the sentence to express the condition (if I'm going to a different city or unfamiliar landscape) and complete the main clause with a clear verb ('I try to take photos'). Avoid filler words and ensure a subject and full predicate.

× Yes, although I am not into photography but I tend to take photos of the scenery out of the cars when I'm traveling because I love to take like snatching or I like to capture the moment if so when I'm back.

✓ Yes, although I'm not into photography, I tend to take photos of the scenery outside the car when I'm traveling because I like to capture moments to look at when I'm back.

Use 'outside the car' rather than 'out of the cars'. 'Cars' should be singular if referring to the vehicle one is in: 'the car'. Remove redundant conjunctions: 'although... but' is incorrect; use one linking word. 'Take like snatching' is unclear and ungrammatical — replace with 'capture moments'. Also adjust word order for natural English: 'to look at when I'm back' conveys purpose.

× I prefer the mountains as in the morning you can go to to swim and, uh, at night or before the sun sets, you can enjoy the sunset.

✓ I prefer the mountains because in the morning you can go swimming and in the evening you can enjoy the sunset.

Use 'because' to give a reason rather than 'as' which can be ambiguous. Use the gerund 'go swimming' not 'go to swim'. Remove repeated 'to'. 'At night or before the sun sets' is wordy; 'in the evening' or 'before sunset' is clearer and more concise.

× Umm, beach persona can see that I love going to the like all the time when I have the chance to, uh, also the weather is.

✓ Also, people can see that I love going to the beach all the time when I have the chance, and I enjoy the weather there.

'Beach persona' is incorrect; use 'people' or 'others' and 'the beach'. Remove filler 'the like'. Complete the sentence: the original ends abruptly ('also the weather is'). Provide a full clause: 'I enjoy the weather there.' Ensure pronouns and nouns match and the sentence has a clear predicate.