Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答总体思路正确，但存在语法错误、重复和表达不够简洁的问题。建议：1) 开头用一句清晰的主题句直接回答（例如：Yes, I often do.），2) 修正时态和动词用法（例如把 “when I using my phone” 改为 “when I use my phone”），3) 删除冗余短语并用连词使句子更连贯（例如用 “because” 或 “so” 连接原因和结果），4) 控制在最多5句内，保持自然口语。

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car, because using my phone for a long time makes me uncomfortable. The scenery helps me relax, so I prefer watching outside rather than staring at my screen.

提案: 回答有清楚的意思，但存在语音停顿造成的断句（“and. I. I”），句子结构不够流畅，细节不够具体。建议：1) 避免频繁停顿或重复词（如“and. I. I”），2) 用连贯句子说明拍照的目的和频率，3) 提供一两个具体例子以增加细节（例如拍日落、古建筑或有趣的路标）。

例: Yes, I usually take photos to capture beautiful or unusual sights during my trips, such as sunsets, mountain views, or interesting buildings, so I can look back and remember the journey later.

提案: 回答包含多个想法但表达混乱、语法和词汇使用不当，且信息重复。建议：1) 先用一句主题句回答（I like both, but...），2) 分别用一两句简洁描述各自的原因并用连接词衔接，3) 修正词汇和搭配（例如 “feel reflex refreshed and foresee” 应改为 “feel refreshed and relaxed”；“dress beautiful dressed” 改为 “dress up”），4) 提供具体活动例子（如 hiking, swimming, taking photos）。

例: I actually like both, but for different reasons. I enjoy the mountains because I can hike snowy peaks with friends and breathe fresh air, which makes me feel refreshed. The seaside is romantic too — I like walking along the shore, taking photos, and relaxing with friends.

× For me it is uncomfortable when I using my phone for a long time, so I really watch out outside and the scenic views can make me relaxed, so I prefer to look out the window.

✓ For me it is uncomfortable when I use my phone for a long time, so I really look out at the scenery and the scenic views can make me feel relaxed; therefore I prefer to look out the window.

错误类型：动词后接 -ing 形式被错误使用（Grammar Problem Type 8）。原句“when I using”中当从句作时间状语时，应使用一般现在时“use”，而不是现在分词“using”。另外，'watch out outside' 用法不当，改为“look out at the scenery”更自然；'make me relaxed' 应改为“make me feel relaxed”以表达使人感到放松。建议：在表示习惯或一般事实的时间从句中使用一般现在时；注意固定搭配（look out at, feel relaxed）。

× Yeah, I usually take photos because I like to capture the beautiful or special things during my trip and. I. I can look back then when I remember this journey.

✓ Yeah, I usually take photos because I like to capture the beautiful or special things during my trip. I can look back on them when I remember this journey.

错误类型：动词后接 -ing 形式/句子结构错误（主要为类型8及26）。原句有断句和多余停顿“and. I. I”，并且短语应为“look back on them”表示回顾这些照片。建议：去掉多余的停顿，合并为完整句子；使用固定搭配“look back on something”。

× Actually I like both of them. For mountains I like to climb snow peaks with my friends. I like the fresh air in the mountains and I feel reflex refreshed and foresee. I like to dress beautiful dressed with my friends and take photos and also is romantic to work alongside the seaside with my friends I think.

✓ Actually I like both of them. For mountains, I like to climb snowy peaks with my friends. I enjoy the fresh air in the mountains and I feel refreshed. I like to dress nicely with my friends and take photos, and it is also romantic to walk along the seaside with my friends, I think.

错误类型：不正确使用形容词或副词（Grammar Problem Type 13）及句子结构问题。问题包括：'snow peaks' 更自然为'snowy peaks'（形容词形式）；'I feel reflex refreshed and foresee' 是无意义的词汇混用，应为“I feel refreshed”；'dress beautiful dressed' 用法错误，应使用副词或形容词短语如“dress nicely”或“be beautifully dressed”；'work alongside the seaside' 用词不当，语义应为“walk along the seaside”。建议：使用正确的形容词形式修饰名词（snowy peaks），使用副词修饰动词（dress nicely），删除无意义词并用正确短语表达（feel refreshed，walk along the seaside）。