Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more concise and correct small grammar errors; include one linking phrase and one specific detail to enrich the response. Aim for 2–3 sentences, avoid repetition (e.g. “I like I like”), and correct article use and verb forms.

例: Yes, I always choose a window seat when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy watching the scenery. For example, I especially like seeing the countryside roll by since it makes me feel relaxed and peaceful.

提案: Correct basic grammar and avoid hesitations. Use clear vocabulary, fix mistaken words (bath → car/vehicle), plural/singular (photo → photos), and provide one reason plus a brief example using linking words. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: I don't usually take photos from a moving vehicle because it moves too quickly and the pictures often turn out blurry. For instance, I tried photographing mountain views last month, but most shots were blurred.

提案: Combine ideas into a clear, fluent response with correct collocations and fewer short fragments. Use linking words (because, so) and specific details (activities you do at the sea) to support your preference. Keep to 2–4 sentences and correct phrases like “see ocean view” → “see the ocean view” or “visit the ocean.”

例: I prefer the sea because I grew up in Okinawa and the ocean is part of my daily life. For example, I often go to the shore to watch the sunset and walk along the beach, which helps me relax and feel calm.

× Yes, I always choose window seat when I travel by bus or car because I like I like watching the scenery.

✓ Yes, I always choose the window seat when I travel by bus or car because I like watching the scenery.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'window seat'. Use 'the window seat' to refer to a specific seat type. Also remove the repeated 'I like'. Suggestion: use 'the' for specific nouns and avoid repetition.

× I enjoy it.

✓ I enjoy it.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It expresses preference clearly. Included here only to show it requires no correction.

× For example, I like watching the countryside go by which makes me feel comfortable.

✓ For example, I like watching the countryside go by, which makes me feel comfortable.

Missing comma before the nonrestrictive relative clause 'which makes me feel comfortable'. Add a comma to separate the main clause and the explanatory clause for correct sentence structure.

× I don't usually take photo of the scenery from a bath because vehicle moves so quickly that umm, turn the picture turn out a blurry.

✓ I don't usually take photos of the scenery from a bus because the vehicle moves so quickly that the pictures turn out blurry.

Multiple errors: 'photo' should be plural 'photos' (count noun) and 'bath' is incorrect word; context suggests 'bus'. Use 'the vehicle' with definite article for a specific vehicle and plural 'pictures'. 'Turn out blurry' is correct phrase; remove extra words. Overall: correct nouns, articles and pluralization.

× For example, uh, last month I went to uh, I mean I tried to take photo from uh, the scenery in the mountain views.

✓ For example, last month I tried to take photos of the mountain scenery.

Sentence is disfluent and contains unnecessary fillers. Use 'photos' plural and the preposition 'of' with 'scenery'. 'Mountain views' is better expressed as 'mountain scenery'. Simplify to a clear past-tense statement.

× I prefer the sea because it's part of my life.

✓ I prefer the sea because it's part of my life.

This sentence is grammatically correct and uses the present simple appropriately to state a general preference. No correction needed.

× I live in Okinawa, which is an island.

✓ I live in Okinawa, which is an island.

This sentence is correct. 'Live in' is the proper preposition for places such as cities or islands. No change required.

× I love seeing ocean view.

✓ I love seeing the ocean view.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'ocean view'. Use 'the ocean view' to refer to a specific view. Alternatively 'ocean views' (plural) could be used. Ensure article agreement with the noun.

× I visit ocean.

✓ I visit the ocean.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'ocean' and missing preposition is not required; 'visit the ocean' is the correct collocation. Use 'the' when referring to a specific body of water.

× I just go for work and to see sunset, which is very nice and makes me feel calm.

✓ I usually go for work and to see the sunset, which is very nice and makes me feel calm.

Add 'usually' to clarify frequency if intended; more importantly add the definite article 'the' before 'sunset'. The original sentence lacked 'the' and had a slightly awkward verb 'just go'—'usually go' or 'sometimes go' is clearer. Keep 'which' clause with comma as nonrestrictive.