Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is natural and relevant, with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. To improve, avoid uncertainty phrases like “Maybe” which reduce confidence, and tighten the response to fewer than five sentences by removing minor tangents. Add one specific detail (when or where) and a linking word to make it more coherent.

例: Yes, I often look out the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy watching changing landscapes. For example, on my commute home I listen to soft music while passing the UMM forest, which helps me feel calm and relaxed. Overall, the combination of scenery and music is a great way for me to unwind.

提案: This response is concise and directly answers the question with clear reasons — good structure. To improve further, add a linking word and one brief specific example of a situation when you do take photos to enrich content and show range of vocabulary (e.g., “rarely,” “blurry,” “motion blur”).

例: I rarely take photos from a moving car because I often get carsick and the motion causes blurry pictures. However, on a calm day when the car is stopped at a viewpoint, I will sometimes take a quick photo of a striking scene, such as a sunset over the hills.

提案: Good content and reasons, but there are grammatical errors and an uncertain opening (“I may say”) that lower clarity and confidence. Improve verb forms, use a confident topic sentence, and keep it within four sentences. Add one specific example of a mountain activity and a linking word for coherence.

例: I prefer the mountains. Although I grew up by the sea and find it familiar, I have developed a passion for hiking and climbing. For example, last year I completed a two-day trek where the fresh air and peaceful scenery made the physical challenge very rewarding.

× Yes, I like to look out the window when I am travelling by bus or car.

✓ Yes, I like to look out of the window when I am traveling by bus or car.

Use of preposition: 'look out the window' is commonly expressed as 'look out of the window' or 'look out the window' is acceptable in some dialects; however, consistency with American spelling 'traveling' vs 'travelling' depends on variety. Main issue is preposition choice and spelling consistency. Suggest using 'look out of the window' and choose one spelling of 'traveling' based on dialect.

× I usually listen to music at the same time.

✓ I usually listen to music at the same time.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It uses present simple appropriately to describe a habitual action.

× The combination of the scenery and the music makes me feel calm and relaxed, especially when the landscape is peaceful.

✓ The combination of the scenery and the music makes me feel calm and relaxed, especially when the landscape is peaceful.

Sentence is correct: subject is singular 'The combination' so verb 'makes' is correct. No change required.

× Maybe we pass the UMM forest.

✓ Maybe we will pass the UMM forest.

The original uses simple present 'we pass' which is unnatural for a future possibility. Use 'will pass' to indicate a future event or 'we might pass' for possibility. 'Maybe we will pass the UMM forest' or 'Maybe we might pass the UMM forest' are both acceptable.

× Sometimes yes I do, but not very often.

✓ Sometimes, yes, I do, but not very often.

Needs commas to set off the interjection 'yes'. This is punctuation rather than a listed grammar type but relates to sentence structure (ID 26). Commas improve clarity.

× I usually feel a bit carsick and the scenery outside the window moves so fast that photos turn out blurry, so I don't bother taking many pictures.

✓ I usually feel a bit carsick, and the scenery outside the window moves so fast that photos turn out blurry, so I don't bother taking many pictures.

Add comma before conjunction 'and' joining two independent clauses. Tense and verbs are correct (present simple) for habitual action.

× I may say the mountains.

✓ I would say the mountains.

'May' expresses possibility; native speakers use 'I would say' or 'I'd say' to give a preference or tentative opinion. 'Would' is the appropriate modal here.

× I grew up in a city by the sea, so be near the ocean feel normal to me.

✓ I grew up in a city by the sea, so being near the ocean feels normal to me.

Original has incorrect verb form 'be' and subject-verb agreement. Use gerund 'being' as the subject of 'feels', and singular 'feels' to agree with singular gerund phrase. This matches cause-effect and tense.

× As I got older I developed a passion for hiking and climbing, so now I prefer the mountains because I enjoy the fresh air, the peaceful scenery and the physical challenge.

✓ As I got older, I developed a passion for hiking and climbing, so now I prefer the mountains because I enjoy the fresh air, the peaceful scenery, and the physical challenge.

Sentence is grammatically correct in tense and structure. Minor punctuation: add comma after introductory clause and Oxford comma for clarity. No tense changes needed.