Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 语言方面要注意语法和词序，使表达更自然；开头直接回应问题，然后用一到两句具体细节支撑。可以把“quite find of looking scenery”改为更地道的表达，如“I enjoy looking at the scenery”并把动词时态和名词形式调整正确。尽量控制在最多五句内，避免冗长重复。

例: Yes, I enjoy looking out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I feel curious about the outside world, so I like watching fields and small towns pass by. The changing scenery helps me relax and think about new places.

提案: 内容清楚但语法和词汇需要改进，使表达更简洁自然。将口语缩写和重复去掉，并用连接词使句子更连贯。例如用“because”替代“'cause”，去掉多余的“just”与“right now”。可以增加具体例子说明为何分心。

例: I used to take photos from the car window, but now I rarely do because it can be distracting. Also, photos often fail to capture the atmosphere, so I prefer to enjoy the view directly rather than trying to record it.

提案: 句子结构和词汇使用有明显错误，影响理解。应先直接回答，再用一两句具体原因支持，注意语法（如时态、不可数名词、形容词和名词形式）。修正“quite get into”为“been drawn to”或“really like”，把“rot water”改为“rough water”或“rolling waves”并注意句子连贯性。

例: I prefer the sea because it makes me feel calm and peaceful. Walking along the beach and listening to the rolling waves and fresh breeze helps me relax and clear my mind.

× Yes, I quite find of looking scenery outside the window when I travel by bus or car.

✓ Yes, I quite enjoy looking at the scenery outside the window when I travel by bus or car.

原句中用词和结构不正确："quite find of looking scenery" 既有搭配错误又缺少介词。应使用动词短语 "enjoy looking at" 来表达喜欢看窗外风景；"scenery" 前需要介词 "at"，并且 "quite" 更常放在动词前或与形容词连用。建议：把冗余的词去掉，使用固定搭配 "enjoy looking at the scenery"。

× I always feel curious about the outside world and I'm really like seeing the views of the fields and the small towns when everything passing my car.

✓ I always feel curious about the outside world and I really like seeing the views of the fields and the small towns when everything passes my car.

原句有几个问题：1) "I'm really like" 用法错误，应为 "I really like"（主语 + 动词）。2) "everything passing my car" 主谓不一致，需用第三人称单数动词形式 "passes" 或者改为被动结构。这里保持主动用法并改为 "passes my car"。建议：确保主语和谓语一致，避免多余的助动词。

× I used to take photos of the scenery outside the car window, but right now I rarely do it 'cause sometimes I feel like taking photos can be distracting and annoying, and I don't think that taking photos just can capture the feelings right now at the moment.

✓ I used to take photos of the scenery outside the car window, but now I rarely do it because sometimes I feel taking photos can be distracting and annoying, and I don't think photos can capture the feelings at the moment.

问题包括：1) "right now" 与 "used to" 语义冲突，改为更自然的 "now"。2) 口语缩写 "'cause" 改为正式写法 "because"。3) 句中冗余或位置不当的词（"just"、"right now at the moment"）应删除或合并，造成重复。4) "feel like taking photos can be" 中的 "feel like" 后接动名词表示倾向，但意思更清晰用 "feel taking photos can be" 或者保持 "feel that taking photos can be"。建议：简化句子，避免重复时间词和冗余副词。

× Frankly I prefer the sea.

✓ Frankly, I prefer the sea.

原句语法基本正确，但习惯上在口语中在插入语 "Frankly" 后加逗号，语调更自然。建议在书写时适当使用标点以提高可读性。

× I've always quite get into the sea cause the sea always gives me a feelings of calm and silence always feel.

✓ I've always quite liked the sea because it always gives me a feeling of calm and silence.

原句错误：1) "I've always quite get into" 时态与结构错误，应为现在完成时 + 过去分词/形容词构成（"I've always liked"）。2) "gives me a feelings" 单复数错误，应该是单数 "a feeling" 或复数时不加冠词。3) 句尾的 "always feel" 结构混乱，应合并为 "gives me a feeling of calm and silence"。建议：把动词改为正确的时态和形式，注意不可数名词与可数名词的单复数。

× I feel cozy when I walk along the beach and feeling the waves of the rot water and the fresh breeze gives me.

✓ I feel cozy when I walk along the beach and feel the waves of the salt water and the fresh breeze.

句子问题：1) 在并列谓语中应保持一致，原句先用 "I feel" 然后用 "feeling"，应统一为 "I feel... and feel..."。2) "rot water" 是错误词，应为 "salt water"（海水）或 "rocky" 等，推测为 "salt water"。3) 句尾结构不完整和冗余（"and the fresh breeze gives me" 不自然），改为直接并列感受。建议：保持并列动词形式一致，选用正确词汇（如 salt water），删除多余表达。