Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a direct, grammatical topic sentence first, avoid filler words and repetitions, and add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep it concise (no more than 4–5 sentences).

例: Yes, I do look out the window when I travel by bus or car. For example, I especially enjoy watching the countryside and the colours of the sunset because they are peaceful and changing. Also, when I travel I often notice small details like farm animals or traditional houses, which make the journey interesting.

提案: Start with a clear yes/no answer, then explain briefly using linking words (for example, but/so) and give a specific reason or example. Correct vocabulary (e.g., 'shot' not 'shop') and finish the sentence to avoid trailing off.

例: Sometimes I take photos of the scenery outside the car window, especially when I see a striking landscape or an attractive building. However, it is difficult to get a good shot while the car is moving, so I usually wait until we stop or use my phone's stabiliser to reduce blur.

提案: Answer directly (I prefer the sea) and then give a clear reason with a complete supporting detail. Avoid hesitations and incomplete sentences; use linking words like 'because' and 'so' to connect ideas and finish your thought.

例: I prefer the sea because I grew up in a rural, mountainous area and rarely have the chance to visit the coast. Therefore, I enjoy spending time by the ocean to relax, swim, and watch the waves when I can visit.

× Well definitely the yes I do.

✓ Well, yes I definitely do.

The original sentence uses 'definitely the yes' which is ungrammatical; 'definitely' should modify the verb phrase and 'the' is unnecessary. Reorder to 'yes I definitely do' or 'I definitely do' for natural speech.

× I do enjoy for a investigate investigating the sightseeing, especially the countryside and the sunsets I can umm, I feel.

✓ I do enjoy investigating the scenery, especially the countryside and the sunsets, I think.

Problems: incorrect use of 'for a' before a gerund and duplicated forms 'investigate investigating'; 'sightseeing' is a noun but 'scenery' fits here. 'I can umm, I feel' is ungrammatical for the intended meaning; 'I think' is a clear replacement. Use gerund 'investigating' without 'for a' and remove duplication.

× Do you take photos of the scenery outside the car window?

✓ Do you take photos of the scenery outside the car window?

This sentence is acceptable; no grammatical correction needed. It correctly uses articles and noun forms. Included to confirm no change is required.

× Well, yes, sometimes I do I especially when I see the landscape or beautiful building, but I think it quite hard to have a good shop to throughout the car moving because.

✓ Well, yes, sometimes I do, especially when I see a landscape or a beautiful building, but I think it's quite hard to get a good shot through a moving car.

Errors: missing articles before singular countable nouns ('a landscape', 'a beautiful building'); 'shop' is incorrect word choice for 'shot'; word order and prepositions wrong ('throughout the car moving' should be 'through a moving car'); missing 'it' and contraction 'it's' needed. Use 'get a good shot' as idiomatic expression.

× Uh, for me, I definitely choose ocean because I live in a countryside which a which is around the mountains, so I seldom have chance to go to sea. So when I see the.

✓ For me, I definitely prefer the ocean because I live in the countryside, which is surrounded by mountains, so I seldom have a chance to go to the sea.

Errors: 'choose ocean' should be 'prefer the ocean'; article use 'a countryside' incorrect — use 'the countryside'; redundant 'which a which' removed; 'is surrounded by mountains' is clearer than 'is around the mountains'; 'have chance' needs the article 'a' and 'go to sea' is normally 'go to the sea' or 'go to the seaside'. The trailing fragment 'So when I see the.' is incomplete and should be completed in context or omitted.