Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No and why), avoid filler words (uh, umm), correct key word choice (countryside, highway, scenery), and keep to 2–4 concise sentences. Add one specific detail to support your feeling (e.g. trees, fields, or particular route).

例: Yes. I often look out the window when I travel to the countryside because the green fields and rows of trees help me relax. For example, on the highway to my grandparents’ village I enjoy watching farmers working in the rice paddies and the changing sky, which always calms me.

提案: Answer directly with a clear statement about frequency and reason. Reduce hesitation and correct vocabulary (landscape, field, farmers cultivating rice). Use linking words (so, because) and provide a short specific example of when you take photos. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I often take photos of landscapes from the car because I like capturing rural scenes. For example, I frequently photograph farmers working in rice fields and the patterns they make across the land because those scenes look beautiful in different light.

提案: Give a clear preference (mountains or sea) and explain why with 1–2 specific reasons. Avoid long hesitations and fragmented sentences. Use linking words (because, so, after) and a concise supporting detail such as activities you enjoy (walking barefoot on the sand, hiking, listening to waves).

例: I prefer the sea because walking barefoot on the sand and listening to the waves relaxes me after a stressful week. For instance, at the beach I usually take a long walk and sit by the water to clear my mind, which helps me feel refreshed.

× I used to look through the window when I entered to the countryside, uh, buying, especially back highway express umm, it makes me feel calm and relaxed.

✓ I used to look out of the window when I went to the countryside, especially on the expressway; it made me feel calm and relaxed.

Errors: incorrect preposition 'through' for window view, incorrect verb form 'entered to' (should be 'went to'), incorrect noun phrase 'back highway express' (word order and choice), and tense consistency. Suggestion: Use 'look out of the window' or 'look out the window', use 'go/went to the countryside' not 'enter to', use 'expressway' or 'highway', and keep past tense consistent with 'used to' by using past tense verbs like 'went' and 'made'.

× Uh, when I see the green scenario is really amazing.

✓ When I see the green scenery, it is really amazing.

Errors: 'scenario' is the wrong word (means hypothetical situation); correct noun is 'scenery'. Also missing comma and slightly awkward structure. Suggestion: Use 'scenery' and make a complete clause 'When I see the green scenery, it is really amazing.'

× Why uh, the cars move?

✓ Why do the cars move?

Error: Missing auxiliary verb for question formation in present simple. In English questions about habitual or general facts you need 'do/does'. Suggestion: Use 'Why do the cars move?' or rephrase contextually.

× Uh, I do love if umm, usually I capture the photos, the landscape or the fee, especially when the car person there, umm, the farmer, they are uh, cultivation their rice on the fan is so amazing to take the photo.

✓ I really love taking photos of the landscape, especially when there are farmers working in the fields; it is amazing to take those photos.

Errors: Incorrect use of 'do love if' and mixed structures. Wrong noun 'fee' should be 'fields', 'car person' unclear, 'they are cultivation their rice' wrong verb forms and word order, 'on the fan' wrong word. Suggestion: Use gerund after 'love' for activities ('love taking photos'), use 'there are farmers working in the fields' for clarity, and use simple present progressive 'working' or past progressive depending on context.

× Uh, I'm kind of a person who lets do, umm, work on the sun, umm, uh, detections or the sun with my barefoot is made me.

✓ I'm the kind of person who likes to work in the sun and walk barefoot; it makes me feel good.

Errors: 'lets do' incorrect verb and structure, 'work on the sun' wrong preposition and meaning, 'detections' wrong word, 'with my barefoot' wrong form and preposition, 'is made me' wrong tense and passive. Suggestion: Use 'the kind of person who likes to...', 'work in the sun' or 'be in the sun', 'walk barefoot', and 'it makes me feel...' for clear cause-effect.

× Uh, so is I just umm, especially after the business and stressful week and I I love to listen to.

✓ So I just do that, especially after a busy and stressful week, and I love to listen to music.

Errors: Word order and missing objects: 'so is I just' incorrect, 'business' should be 'busy' adjective, doubled 'I I', and 'love to listen to' missing object. Suggestion: Use 'do that' to refer to previous action, use 'a busy and stressful week', and finish the clause with the object 'music' or 'the sound of the sea', etc.