Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Trim hesitations and correct small grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details with linking words. For example, replace fillers ("uh", "so") with a brief pause and correct "prefer to the seat" to "prefer the seat" or "prefer to sit in the seat". Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I prefer to sit in the window seat because it lets me enjoy the passing landscapes clearly. For instance, I like watching city streets change into countryside as we move.

提案: Reduce repetition and hesitations, correct tense and article usage, and give a specific example. Use linking words such as "because" or "so" to connect ideas. Also avoid vague phrases like "those kind of"; be specific about what is memorable (views, moments). Keep answers concise and coherent.

例: Yes, I often take photos through the car window because the views along the road are unique and memorable. For example, last month I photographed a row of sunlit vineyards that reminded me of home, so I keep those pictures as travel memories.

提案: Remove fillers and combine ideas into a clear, fluent answer. Start with a direct statement of preference, then give two specific reasons joined by linking words (e.g., "because", "and"). Avoid repeating words like "relax" and correct word order ("see beautiful views from the mountain tops").

例: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy the wide views from the summits and the peaceful atmosphere. For example, hiking to a ridge allows me to see rolling valleys and take a break from city noise, which helps me relax.

× Yes, I usually look out the window at the scenery when traveling by bus or car, uh, and I also prefer to the seat, uh, next to the window, so make sure that I can see the view very clearly.

✓ Yes, I usually look out of the window at the scenery when traveling by bus or car, and I also prefer the seat next to the window so I can see the view very clearly.

Incorrect preposition and extraneous words: 'look out the window' is commonly expressed as 'look out of the window' or 'look out the window' but 'look out of the window' is clearer; however the main problem in this sentence is 'prefer to the seat' which misuses the preposition 'to'. The correct phrase is 'prefer the seat' or 'prefer to sit in the seat'. Also remove filler words and rephrase the final clause to include a subject ('I') and present tense verb for clarity. Suggestion: use 'prefer the seat next to the window' or 'prefer to sit in the seat next to the window' and keep 'so I can see...' for a clear purpose clause.

× Yeah, I, I, I loved taking photos of the scenery outside the car window because when we travel, well, uh, we can see, uh, a beautiful, uh, places along the road and, uh, it's kinda memorable for catching those kind of.

✓ Yes, I love taking photos of the scenery outside the car window because when we travel we can see beautiful places along the road, and it's memorable to capture those moments.

Tense and verb form issues plus awkward phrasing: 'loved taking' mixes past with general habit; the question asks about a habitual preference so use present simple 'love taking'. Remove fillers and use plural consistency 'beautiful places' (not 'a beautiful places'). 'It's kinda memorable for catching those kind of' is ungrammatical and vague; use 'it's memorable to capture those moments' for a clear, grammatical expression. Also change 'catching' to 'capture' (infinitive) after 'memorable to'.

× Uh, to me personally, I prefer mountains because I can uh, see the beautiful view on the top of the hill or the mountains and also can relax visiting the mountain, feel relaxed.

✓ To me personally, I prefer the mountains because I can see the beautiful views from the top of the hills or mountains, and I can also relax when visiting them.

Incorrect and inconsistent prepositions and sentence structure: Use definite article 'the mountains' when speaking generally about that environment. 'See the beautiful view on the top of the hill' should be 'see the beautiful views from the top of the hills or mountains' to use the correct preposition 'from' and plural 'views' for generality. 'Also can relax visiting the mountain, feel relaxed' lacks a subject and has awkward gerund use; add subject 'I' and use 'relax when visiting them' for grammatical correctness and clarity. Ensure pronoun agreement by using 'them' to refer back to 'hills or mountains'.