Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer clearer and more natural by using a direct topic sentence, one or two supporting reasons, and correct grammar. Avoid unclear words like "bill" and unnecessary repetition. Use linking words (for example, "because" or "so") to connect ideas and keep the answer within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy watching the changing scenery. For example, seeing trees and buildings pass by relaxes me and makes long journeys feel shorter.

提案: Organise your answer with one clear statement and specific supporting details. Remove filler words (uh) and correct word choice (e.g., "seaside" or "beach" instead of "Visa"). Explain briefly when and why you take photos and give one concrete example.

例: Yes, I often take photos from car windows, especially when I visit mountains or the seaside. For instance, last month I photographed a mountain range at sunset because the light made the landscape look dramatic and worth remembering.

提案: Give a clear preference in one sentence, then support it with specific reasons using linking words (for example, "because" and "while"). Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, remove unclear pronouns) and avoid contradictory statements in the same answer.

例: I prefer the sea because spending time by the coast makes me feel refreshed and helps me forget my busy schedule. While I also enjoy mountains for hiking, the sea is my favourite because I relax more when I listen to the waves.

× Definitely I love to watch outside scenario especially through the windows is I getting bill and I love to enjoy, give me a pleasures and also make me energetic.

✓ Definitely, I love to watch the scenery outside, especially through the windows; it makes me feel happy and energetic and gives me pleasure.

The original sentence uses awkward and incorrect word choices (e.g., 'outside scenario', 'is I getting bill', 'give me a pleasures') and incorrect article usage. This falls under incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs and article/word choice. Suggested corrections: use 'the scenery outside' instead of 'outside scenario', replace the unclear clause 'is I getting bill' with a clear clause describing the effect (e.g., 'it makes me feel happy'), change 'give me a pleasures' to 'gives me pleasure', and adjust word order and punctuation for clarity. Use singular uncountable 'pleasure' and ensure verbs agree with subject ('it makes').

× Definitely. I really like to take a picture, uh, take picture from, uh, to, from, uh, cars, windows, especially when I visit any mountain, mountainside on uh, Visa, visa beach. Uh, this time I'll have to take landscape pictures and also, uh, a business picture.

✓ Definitely. I really like taking pictures from car windows, especially when I visit mountainsides or beaches. This time I will take landscape pictures and also some photos for work.

The original uses awkward verb forms and repetition ('like to take a picture' then repeated fragments) and incorrect pluralization ('cars, windows', 'mountain, mountainside on ... Visa'). The relevant issue is use of verb + -ing (present participle) which is more natural after 'like' for habitual activities: 'like taking pictures' instead of 'like to take a picture' in this context. Also correct plural forms ('pictures', 'car windows', 'mountainsides') and clarify 'photos for work' instead of 'a business picture'. Simplify to coherent sentences and use 'will' for future intent correctly ('I will take').

× I definitely prefers to see uh because she's uh, uh.

✓ I definitely prefer the sea because it...

The original uses the third person singular verb form 'prefers' with the first person subject 'I', which is a subject-verb agreement error (third person singular issue). Use 'prefer' with 'I'. Also 'see uh because she's uh' is unclear and uses pronouns incorrectly; replace with a clear noun 'the sea' and a continuation such as 'because it makes me feel relaxed'. Ensure verb form matches the subject.

× Whenever I spend some time beside the sea this time, I feel refreshed and I can escape from my busy schedule on the other side mountain.

✓ Whenever I spend time beside the sea, I feel refreshed and can escape from my busy schedule; on the other hand, I also enjoy the mountains sometimes.

The phrase 'this time' conflicts with the habitual 'Whenever I spend' and creates tense/meaning confusion. The clause 'on the other side mountain' is ungrammatical and unclear (incorrect preposition and noun form). This is categorized as a present tense/tense usage issue and sentence structure problems. Remove 'this time' for habitual meaning, use 'on the other hand' to contrast, and pluralize nouns where appropriate ('mountains'). Reorder for clarity and correct tense consistency.