Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は簡潔で意図は伝わりますが、文法と語法の誤りを直し、情報を少し具体化するとより自然で高得点になります。具体的には「makes me refresh」は不自然で「refreshes me」や「helps me feel refreshed」に直すべきです。また、トピック文の後に理由や具体例を1〜2文で加え、接続語（for example, because, so）を使って流れを良くしてください。

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy looking at the scenery outside because it helps me feel refreshed after a long journey. For example, when I travel by bus through the countryside, I like watching the fields and small villages pass by because it relaxes me.

提案: 意図が伝わりにくく、文法と語彙の誤用が多く見られます。まずは簡潔に「はい、時々撮ります」と述べ、その後に具体的な状況（いつ、何を撮るか）を加えてください。不要なフレーズ（"Can you borrow some or some more trees?"）は削除し、代わりに理由や詳細（I take photos to remember the view, to share on social media）を述べてください。接続語（sometimes, because, for example）を活用して論理的に繋げましょう。

例: Yes, sometimes I take photos of the scenery outside the window. For example, I often photograph interesting landscapes or unusual trees when the light is good, so I can remember the trip and share the pictures with my friends.

提案: 考えは伝わりますが、過去形や語順の誤り、繰り返しがあり自然さに欠けます。まず主張（I prefer the sea）を明確にした後、理由を過去の思い出と現在の楽しみで分けて述べると良いです。過去形は正しく使い、冗長な表現（"the sea is special area"や同語の繰り返し）を避け、接続語（because, when, especially）で文をつなげてください。具体例（a childhood memory, favourite seafood）を加えるとさらに良くなります。

例: I prefer the sea. When I was a child, visiting the seaside was a special occasion because my family spent holidays there, so I have many happy memories. I also enjoy going to the sea now because I like swimming and eating fresh seafood, such as grilled fish and shrimp.

× Yes I do. I like to look at the outside scenery because it makes me refresh.

✓ Yes, I do. I like to look at the scenery outside because it refreshes me.

The verb phrase 'makes me refresh' is incorrect in natural English. Use the stative verb 'refresh' in active form with a subject that agrees: 'scenery... refreshes me.' Also 'outside scenery' is better as 'scenery outside.' Add a comma after 'Yes' for punctuation clarity.

× Yes I do. Sometimes I take a photo outside of the scenery for example. Can you borrow some or some more trees?

✓ Yes, I do. Sometimes I take a photo of the scenery outside, for example. Can you see some trees or more trees?

'Take a photo outside of the scenery' is awkward; the correct idiom is 'take a photo of the scenery outside.' The second question 'Can you borrow some or some more trees?' is nonsensical in context; likely intended 'Can you see some trees or more trees?' or 'Can you include more trees?' I corrected to 'Can you see some trees or more trees?' Adjust according to intended meaning. Add commas for clarity.

× I prefer the sea because when I was child the sea is special area.

✓ I prefer the sea because when I was a child the sea was a special place to me.

Missing article 'a' before 'child' and tense mismatch: the time reference 'when I was a child' requires past tense 'was' for 'the sea.' Also 'special area' is unnatural; use 'special place' or 'special area to me.' This corrects agreement and natural word choice.

× So when I go to sea, I enjoy the sea.

✓ So when I go to the sea, I enjoy it.

'Go to sea' is acceptable in some contexts but here 'go to the sea' is clearer. Repeating 'the sea' is redundant; use a pronoun 'it.' Ensure article 'the' before 'sea.'

× Especially I love seafood.

✓ I especially love seafood.

Adverb placement: 'especially' should precede the verb or the phrase it modifies. Beginning the sentence with 'Especially I' is awkward; 'I especially love seafood' is natural English.