Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答直接，但表达不够清晰与连贯。应减少冗余，使用主题句开头并补充具体细节，用连接词组织句子；注意时态与词汇搭配（例如 say “when I travel to work” 而不是 “when I go to work hard”）。可把回答控制在3-4句内，突出原因与感受。

例: Yes, I do. When I travel to work I often look out at Sydney because the city views are fascinating. I enjoy watching the streets and the waterfront since it helps me relax and prepares me for the day. For example, seeing sunlight on the harbour always makes me feel calm.

提案: 回答较清楚但有重复和语法问题。可以用一到两句直接说明不常拍照，再用一两句具体解释原因并给例子。使用更自然的表达（例如 “I don’t usually take photos; I prefer to just watch”）。避免重复词语如 “more more”。

例: I don't usually take photos when I'm in a car. I prefer to watch with my own eyes because it feels more peaceful and helps me feel closer to nature — for instance, I like to notice small details like birds or light on the trees.

提案: 观点明确但描述不够具体且句子不够规范。应先给出直接回答，再用具体原因和例子支持，如描述海的声音、活动或回忆。避免模糊和不连贯的形容词（例如 “it was soft” 不适合描述海）。

例: I prefer the sea because it makes me feel happy and relaxed. I enjoy the sound of the waves and the wide open views; for example, walking on the beach and watching the sunset always lifts my mood.

× Yes, I will look how do we work when I travel when I go to work hard because I think the Sydney outside is really umm fascinating and I enjoy that moment and it makes me feel relaxed and makes me feel enjoyable during the.

✓ Yes, I look at the scenery when I travel to work, because Sydney outside is really fascinating and I enjoy that moment; it makes me feel relaxed and happy.

问题类型：句子结构错误（26）。原句包含多个从句和重复片段（“when I travel when I go to work hard”），语序混乱且有多余词（“how do we work”、“during the.”）使句子不通顺。建议把句子分成更短的部分并去掉重复或无意义的短语，使用正确的动词时态和并列连词。例如将“I will look how do we work”改为“I look at the scenery”，把两个“when”合并为“when I travel to work”，用“happy”替换“不合适的 enjoyable”。这样句子清晰、自然。

× Actually I don't always take photos. Also I prefer just look outside the window by my eyes and I think by using my eyes I will more feel more relaxed and close to the nature.

✓ Actually I don't always take photos. I prefer to just look out of the window with my eyes, and I think doing so makes me feel more relaxed and closer to nature.

问题类型：动词形式与句子结构错误（可对应8/10/26）。原句中“prefer just look”缺少不定式“to”或动名词形式；“look outside the window by my eyes”措辞冗长且不自然，应该用“look out of the window”或“look through the window”。“I will more feel more relaxed”有语序与重复错误，应为“makes me feel more relaxed”。“close to the nature”中“the”不需要，应为“closer to nature”。建议使用不定式或动名词作动词宾语，简化短语并注意比较级“more/closer”的正确位置。

× Well, I prefer the sea because I think sea gives me a sense of happiness and umm, it's really large. You know, it was blue and I like the color of blue and it was soft.

✓ Well, I prefer the sea because I think the sea gives me a sense of happiness. It's very vast and blue, and I like the color and the calm feeling it gives me.

问题类型：形容词/副词使用错误（13）及句子结构（26）。原句“it's really large”可改为更自然的“it's very vast”或“it's very big”。“You know, it was blue and I like the color of blue and it was soft.”中时态不一致，用“was”不合适，应使用现在时“is”或直接形容词短语。并且“it was soft”用于海不自然，应改为“the calm feeling it gives me”或“the gentle waves”。建议保持时态一致，使用更贴切的形容词，并避免重复表达（“blue”被重复）。

× Yes, I look at the scenery when I travel to work, because Sydney outside is really fascinating and I enjoy that moment; it makes me feel relaxed and happy.

✓ Yes, I look at the scenery when I travel to work, because the Sydney outside is really fascinating and I enjoy that moment; it makes me feel relaxed and happy.

问题类型：冠词错误（22）。地名前通常不加冠词，但当强调“the Sydney outside”（指城市的外部景色）或使用限定性表达时可以加“the”。视语境可选用“Sydney”或“the area outside Sydney”。建议根据想表达的含义选择是否使用冠词：若指城市本身用“Sydney”，若指“在悉尼的外面那部分（景色）”则用“the area outside Sydney”更准确。

× It's very vast and blue, and I like the color and the calm feeling it gives me.

✓ It's very vast and blue, and I like the color and the calm feeling it gives me.

问题类型：一般现在时使用（6）。该句使用现在时是正确的，用来描述常态感受和事实。只是提醒保持时态一致，避免前文使用过去时“was”。