Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid filler words (e.g., "uh"). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words like "because" or "for example." Try to limit to 3–4 sentences and vary vocabulary (e.g., use "observe" or "watch" instead of repeating "look").

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when travelling because I find people-watching and observing the scenery relaxing. For example, I enjoy noticing small changes in the neighbourhood or watching commuters on their way to work, which gives me time to think and unwind.

提案: Keep the answer focused and use linking words to structure it (e.g., "sometimes... because..., and also..."). Include a brief specific example to show the examiner what you mean. Avoid repeating "I do" and try one stronger verb like "photograph."

例: Sometimes I photograph interesting scenes from the car because I want to save them for later. For example, I often take pictures of dramatic sunsets or colourful street art to show friends or to use as phone wallpapers.

提案: Begin with a direct topic sentence answering the question, then give two specific reasons using linking words like "because" or "so." Avoid informal phrases like "an amazing thing"—be more precise (e.g., "I enjoy the feeling of the sea and swimming"). Limit to 3 sentences to be concise.

例: If I had to choose, I would prefer the sea because I enjoy swimming and relaxing on the beach. For instance, I like lying in the sun and swimming in salty water because it makes me feel refreshed and relaxed.

× I do sometimes when I see something eye-catching or fun I like to take a picture of it and save it for later.

✓ I do sometimes. When I see something eye-catching or fun, I like to take a picture of it and save it for later.

Sentence structure error (ID 26). The original sentence is a run-on lacking proper punctuation and a pause between clauses. Split into two sentences or add a conjunction/comma to clarify the sequence: 'I do sometimes. When...' Also add a comma after the subordinate clause 'When I see something eye-catching or fun' to follow standard punctuation rules for adverbial clauses.

× It's hard to choose but if I had to I would prefer go by the sea.

✓ It's hard to choose, but if I had to I would prefer to go to the sea.

Missing infinitive marker 'to' and incorrect preposition. This is a verb form error (ID 9 for past participle isn't appropriate; closest allowed type is 26 sentence structure but the explicit issue is missing 'to' — treat as Verb in the infinitive which falls under Verb in the past participle/present participle categories; per instructions we only use listed types so classify as 'Verb form / sentence structure error' (ID 26). The correct phrase is 'prefer to go to the sea' or 'go to the beach.' Also add a comma before 'but' for readability and use preposition 'to' after 'go.'