Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler words (uh, um) and repetition. Use linking words such as "because" or "so" correctly and keep the answer within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy seeing the changing landscapes. For example, I often take photos of interesting views to remember the trip, and I find watching the scenery relaxing during long journeys.

提案: Give a direct answer and then add a specific reason and one short example. Correct grammar (tenses, articles, plural forms) and avoid repeating phrases. Use linking phrases like "because" and "so" to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery from the car window because the views can be quite beautiful. For instance, I photograph sunsets or interesting landscapes so I can look back at them later and share them with my family and friends.

提案: Answer directly with a clear preference or explain the conditions that change your preference. Use correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, articles), and finish your sentences. Provide one or two specific reasons and a linking word (e.g., "because", "but"). Keep to 2–3 concise sentences.

例: It depends on my mood, but I usually prefer the mountains because the air is fresh and the scenery is peaceful. However, I enjoy the sea when I want to relax on the beach or watch the waves.

× Yes, I look out the window at the scenery when I travel by bus and car because it is a very beautiful and I capture, uh, photos as well because, uh, it is a memorable time for me to uh, visit anywhere.

✓ Yes, I look out the window at the scenery when I travel by bus or car because it is very beautiful, and I also take photos because it is a memorable time when I visit places.

Errors: unnecessary article 'a' before 'very beautiful', informal filler words, wrong verb 'capture' used in present habitual context and awkward phrase 'visit anywhere'. Use present simple for habitual actions: 'I look', 'I travel', 'I take'. Replace 'capture photos' with the common collocation 'take photos'. Replace 'for me to visit anywhere' with 'when I visit places' for clarity.

× So I like uh, to look out of the window.

✓ So I like to look out of the window.

Error: unnecessary filler 'uh' and extra comma. 'Look out of the window' is acceptable but 'look out the window' is more natural; here keeping 'look out of the window' is fine but remove hesitations. Use 'to look out of the window' or 'to look out the window' for clarity and fluency.

× Yes, usually I take up photos of the family outside of the car window because it is very beautiful and I captured that photo for the for the future.

✓ Yes, usually I take photos of my family outside the car window because it is very beautiful, and I take those photos to keep for the future.

Errors: 'take up photos' is incorrect collocation; use 'take photos'. 'Outside of the car window' is wordy; 'outside the car window' is natural. 'I captured that photo' mixes past with present habitual 'usually'; use present simple 'I take' or use past consistently. 'For the for the future' is redundant; simplify to 'for the future'. Also plural agreement: 'those photos'.

× To view that photos in the future and show to my friends family that that time and photo capturing is a very good thing.

✓ To view those photos in the future and show them to my friends and family; that time and taking photos is a very enjoyable experience.

Errors: 'that photos' should be 'those photos' (plural demonstrative). Missing object pronoun 'them' after 'show'. 'friends family' needs 'and' between nouns. 'that that time' duplicated word. 'photo capturing' is awkward; use 'taking photos'. Clarify meaning and correct determiners and pronouns.

× It's depend, it's depend on the situation.

✓ It depends; it depends on the situation.

Error: subject-verb agreement/present tense formed incorrectly: 'It depends' requires third person singular 'depends', not 'depend'. Also repeated phrase; one sentence 'It depends on the situation.' is sufficient.

× Whenever I went to the mountain, I captured that one and I like that the mountain also because it it is air fresh and it is very beautiful and whenever I see the tall building or.

✓ Whenever I go to the mountains, I take photos there and I like the mountains because the air is fresh and they are very beautiful.

Errors: inconsistent tense—'went' and 'captured' are past but context is general preference so use present simple 'go' and 'take'. 'that one' is vague; specify 'take photos there'. 'I like that the mountain also' is ungrammatical; use 'I like the mountains because'. 'it it is air fresh' incorrect word order and missing article: 'the air is fresh'. 'mountains' plural to match general meaning; change pronouns accordingly. The clipped fragment 'whenever I see the tall building or.' is incomplete and omitted.