Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler words, and add one brief reason or example using a linking word (e.g., because or so). Also correct small grammatical issues (watch my phone → watch videos on my phone; on the transportation → while travelling).

例: Yes, I do. I prefer looking out of the window because it helps me relax and notice interesting places along the route. For example, I often spot small cafés or parks that I wouldn’t see otherwise.

提案: Improve clarity and accuracy. Use correct vocabulary (reflections, press my camera/phone against the glass) and avoid unclear phrases ("view all sides", "glass of wheat"). Provide a short linked reason and one specific example. Keep it to 2–3 sentences maximum.

例: Yes, sometimes I take photos if the view is especially beautiful, such as at sunrise or near the seaside. However, reflections on the window often spoil the picture, so I press my phone gently against the glass to reduce glare until we stop.

提案: Give a clear direct answer first (I prefer the sea / mountains), then support it with a concise reason and a specific detail. Avoid hesitations and grammar mistakes (prefer stay → prefer staying or I prefer the sea; say → sea; I live in a place where has a lot of mountains → I live near many mountains). Use a linking word like because or although.

例: I prefer the sea because I find beaches relaxing and I enjoy swimming and watching sunrises. Although I’m used to seeing mountains where I live, I choose the coast for a holiday because it feels more refreshing.

× Yes I do. I like looking outdoors when traveling by bus or car.

✓ Yes, I do. I like looking out at the scenery when traveling by bus or car.

The student used 'looking outdoors' which is not the natural collocation in this context; 'looking out at the scenery' is the correct present-tense phrase. Also add a comma after 'Yes' for clarity. Use present simple for habitual action ('I like').

× I I don't like I'll watch my phone on the, uh, transportation.

✓ I don't like watching my phone while I'm traveling.

The original mixes 'I don't like' with 'I'll watch' creating a sentence structure error and incorrect tense/modal usage. The verb after 'like' should be a gerund ('watching'). 'On the transportation' is awkward; use 'while I'm traveling' to express activity during travel. Remove the duplicated 'I'.

× So I think it's a good opportunity to enjoy the outdoor views.

✓ So I think it's a good opportunity to enjoy the outdoor views.

This sentence is generally acceptable in present tense. Included here to confirm no change is needed; keep present simple for general opinion. (No grammatical correction required.)

× Yes, sometimes I take photos when the view all sides is really beautiful, especially at sunrise or by the seaside.

✓ Yes, sometimes I take photos when the view from all sides is really beautiful, especially at sunrise or by the seaside.

The phrase 'the view all sides' is ungrammatical. Use 'the view from all sides' to indicate surrounding scenery. Maintain present simple for habitual action ('I take photos').

× Often reflections on the windows void the pictures so I either press my against the glass of wheat until we stop to get a clear spot shot.

✓ Often reflections on the window spoil the pictures, so I either press my camera against the glass until we stop to get a clear shot.

Multiple issues: 'on the windows' should be 'on the window' or 'on the windows' depending, but 'reflections on the window' is natural; 'void the pictures' is incorrect—use 'spoil the pictures'. 'Press my against the glass of wheat' appears to be garbled; likely intended 'press my camera against the glass'. 'Spot shot' is awkward—use 'clear shot'. Use commas to join clauses properly. Maintain present simple for habitual actions.

× Uh, it's hard to make the choice, but I prefer stay umm in some degree because I think say is a good place to have a vacation and I live in a place where has a lot of mountains so I used to see it.

✓ Uh, it's hard to choose, but I prefer the sea to some degree because I think the sea is a good place for a vacation, and I live in a place that has a lot of mountains, so I am used to seeing them.

This sentence has multiple structural problems: 'make the choice' is less natural than 'choose'; 'prefer stay' is incorrect—use 'prefer the sea'; 'say' is a typo for 'sea'; missing articles ('the sea'), wrong preposition 'to have a vacation' should be 'for a vacation'; 'a place where has a lot of mountains' needs a relative clause 'a place that has a lot of mountains'; 'I used to see it' is wrong tense/meaning—use 'I am used to seeing them' (present state) and plural 'them' for mountains. Maintain present tense for current preferences.