Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答较自然，但存在语法错误、重复与表达不够简洁的问题。建议：1) 简化句子，避免重复表达（如“look at the scenery”多次出现）；2) 修正时态与从句错误（如“those sceneries are I haven't seen before”应改为“scenery I haven’t seen before”或“sceneries I hadn’t seen before”）；3) 使用连接词使逻辑更清晰（例如：“because…so…”可以改为“because… therefore…”或“so I…”）；4) 控制答案长度，不超过5句，首句直接回答问题，然后用1–2句具体理由或例子展开。

例: I usually look out of the window when travelling by car because I enjoy seeing new places. The scenery often shows landscapes I haven’t seen before, so I like to take them in and remember them. For example, last month I saw a beautiful valley I had never noticed before.

提案: 表达重复且有大量语法与词汇错误，影响理解。建议：1) 避免重复词（如“yes, yes”或“I I”）；2) 用准确短语替换口语填充词（如“watch back memory”应为“look back at the photos”或“review memories”）；3) 用一两句说明频率或原因（e.g. “sometimes I take photos because…”）；4) 注意时态和固定搭配（“open my phone”而非“open my phones”）。

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the window. I usually use my phone to capture interesting views, and later at home I like to look back at the photos to remember the trip.

提案: 回答含混、语法混乱且信息不集中。建议：1) 首句直接给出偏好（"I prefer the sea"），避免多余的填充词（如"maybe because"和重复的“because”）；2) 清晰说明原因并提供具体细节（例如“I grew up in the mountains, so the sea is new to me”）；3) 修正错误短语（如“I've never any chance”应为“I’ve never had a chance”）；4) 若提到电影，简短说明电影与偏好的关系以增强内容相关性。控制在3句以内。

例: I prefer the sea because I grew up in the mountains and I haven’t had many opportunities to visit coastal areas. The ocean seems very different and relaxing to me, and a movie I love about the sea made me more curious to see it in real life.

× Yes, I do, because while I'm sitting in a car, I prefer to sit by the window and look at the scenery, which is very interesting.

✓ Yes, I do, because when I'm sitting in a car, I prefer to sit by the window and look at the scenery, which is very interesting.

句中使用 while 的位置和用法不太自然。用 when 更符合一般口语中表示“当……时”的时间从句表达。建议在表示一般习惯或同时发生的动作时使用 when。

× And you know, those sceneries are I haven't seen before and I think this may be the last time I've seen it.

✓ And you know, those views I haven't seen before, and I think this may be the last time I see them.

“scenery”通常为不可数名词，不能用复数形式 sceneries；此处应使用可数的 views 或保持 scenery。原句的时态和代词也混乱："I haven't seen before" 应与先行词直接连用，且 "the last time I've seen it" 时间表达不一致，改为 "the last time I see them" 或更自然的过去将来含义可用 "might be the last time I see them"。此处按现在习惯改为 "may be the last time I see them"。建议使用 view(s) 表示可数风景，注意名词可数性并保证代词和动词的一致性。

× Yes, yes, I do so, except I just look at the scenery.

✓ Yes, yes, I do; besides just looking at the scenery,

原句中的 except I just look at the scenery 结构混乱，except 通常用于排除，而此处想表达“除了看风景之外我还会做别的”，应使用 besides 或者 use a clause like "Besides looking at the scenery,"。另外 do so 的使用多余。建议用 besides/other than 来引出补充信息。

× I also like to open my phones and take photos of the sceneries and after when I got home, you know, I I like to watch back memory back. This scenario is by check.

✓ I also like to take out my phone and take photos of the scenery, and when I get home I like to look back at those memories.

多个问题：1) "open my phones" 不自然，应为 "take out my phone" 或 "use my phone"；2) "sceneries" 不可数，应用 scenery 或 views；3) 时态不一致，前半句一般现在用于习惯，后半句应用现在时 "when I get home" 而不是过去式 "got"；4) "watch back memory back" 非英语表达，应为 "look back at those memories"；5) 最后一短句 "This scenario is by check." 没有意义，应删除。建议使用统一的现在时态描述习惯性动作，注意名词不可数性并用正确动词短语表达回看照片。

× For me, I prefer sea because maybe because I was born in the mountains, so I'm not that interested in the mountains and sea is the places I've never been.

✓ For me, I prefer the sea because maybe since I was born in the mountains, I'm not that interested in mountains and the sea is a place I've never been to.

问题包括：1) 缺少定冠词 the 于 sea（指特定环境如海洋）和复数/单数不一致（places → place）；2) 句子时态和连接词重复（"maybe because" 冗余，改为 maybe 或 since）; 3) 介词短语 "been" 常与 to 连用，故应为 "been to"。建议使用 the sea 或 simply "the sea" 表示海洋，使用 "a place I've never been to" 表示曾未去过的地方，并保持时态一致。

× I've never any chance to see it.

✓ I've never had any chance to see it.

缺少助动词 had 来构成完成时的短语 "have had a chance"。正确表达为 "I've never had any chance to see it" 或更口语化的 "I've never had the chance to see it"。建议在表示“从未有过机会……”时使用 "have/has + had + chance"。

× So I always wanna see seeing and there's a very there's a movie I like.

✓ So I always want to see it, and there is a movie I like about it.

原句中 "wanna see seeing" 重复且语法错误；应使用短语 "want to see it"，不要与动名词重复。另一个问题是 "there's a very there's a movie" 冗余，改为 "there is a movie I like about it" 更清晰。建议避免口语缩略中的重复，使用完整的动词不定式或动名词结构。