Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は自然で直接的ですが、話し言葉の躊躇語（uh, you know）が多く、文がややまとまりに欠けます。主題文の後に具体的な描写や理由を論理的にリンクして述べると良いです。例えば、接続語（for example, because, as a result）を使って情報を整理し、語彙を少し豊かにして具体的なイメージ（色、音、雰囲気）を付け加えると印象が良くなります。発音の途切れを減らし、文を2〜3文でまとめてください。

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because it helps me relax. For example, when we go to the mountains I enjoy seeing dense green forests and calm blue lakes, which make the journey feel peaceful. This view also helps me forget about stress from daily life.

提案: 回答は理由を述べており内容は理解できますが、文法と語順に不自然さがあります（"take best photo" や "phone cameras not working well"）。また、接続語を使って理由と頻度を明確にすると良いです。具体例（窓ガラスの反射や汚れ、振動など）を挙げれば説得力が増します。語数は短めにまとめ、二つの文で頻度と理由を分けて話してください。

例: I sometimes take photos from the car window, but not often because reflections on the glass and bus vibrations usually ruin the picture. If the view is exceptional, I try to photograph it through a clean window or wait until we stop.

提案: 意見は明確ですが、理由の説明が曖昧で繰り返しや躊躇語が目立ちます（"uh, yeah"）。否定部分（海が嫌いな理由）を論理的に整理し、具体的な対比を入れると説得力が増します。例えば気候、アクティビティ、景観の違いを短く挙げ、接続語（because, whereas, so）で流れを作ってください。文は2〜3文で完結させましょう。

例: I prefer the mountains because I find the cool air and green landscapes refreshing and peaceful. Whereas the beach can be too hot for me and windy at times, which makes it less comfortable.

× Yes, of course. Uh, I'd like to see the scenery outside of the windows.

✓ Yes, of course. I'd like to see the scenery outside the windows.

The phrase 'outside of' is acceptable but 'outside the windows' is more natural and concise in this context. Remove the filler 'Uh' for clarity. Use simple present 'I'd like' to express a general preference.

× It's so relaxing, you know, like, uh, when we go to the mountains, so we will see a lot of forest and maybe a lake.

✓ It's so relaxing when we go to the mountains; we see a lot of forests and maybe a lake.

The original sentence contains fillers and awkward connectors. Replace 'so we will see' with present tense 'we see' because it describes habitual or general experiences. Use plural 'forests' to match 'a lot of'. Remove unnecessary fillers ('you know, like, uh') and use a semicolon or conjunction to join related ideas.

× Yes, sometimes because it's not possible to take best photo from inside the bus because there's a frame or a glass that makes the phone cameras not working well.

✓ Yes, sometimes, because it's not possible to take the best photos from inside the bus; the window frame or glass makes phone cameras not work well.

Errors corrected: add definite article 'the' before 'best photos'; plural 'photos' fits 'best' and 'take'; 'from' is fine but 'inside the bus' is clearer; 'that makes the phone cameras not working well' is ungrammatical — use 'makes phone cameras not work well' or 'causes phone cameras to not work well'. Also remove repetition of 'because' and use punctuation to clarify structure.

× I would say I prefer the mountains a lot.

✓ I would say I prefer the mountains.

'A lot' is colloquial and redundant after 'prefer'; removing it yields a clearer sentence. The article usage 'the mountains' is correct because it refers to mountains in general as a category.

× It's so refreshing for me and the scenery also is very beautiful.

✓ It's very refreshing for me, and the scenery is also very beautiful.

Reorder 'so' to 'very' for a more formal tone and move 'also' to a natural position after the verb. Maintain parallel structure by linking clauses with a comma and conjunction.

× I don't really like beach because uh yeah, it's hot and sometimes it's very uh, you don't like the wind is a very.

✓ I don't really like the beach because it's hot, and sometimes the wind is very strong.

Add the definite article 'the' before 'beach'. Remove fillers ('uh yeah'). The original latter clause is ungrammatical; correct to 'the wind is very strong' to express an unpleasant windy condition. Use a comma and conjunction for clarity.