Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Старайтесь давать более сжатый и естественный ответ: начните с прямого утверждения, затем добавьте одно-два конкретных примера без заполнителей («uh», «and») и не повторяйте одну идею несколько раз. Улучшите связность с помощью простых связок (for example, especially, however). Также избегайте фраз типа «some people don't understand» без пояснения — лучше объяснить, почему это важно для вас.

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by car, and sometimes on the bus. I especially enjoy watching sunsets because the colors change quickly, so I often take photos to capture them. For example, last month I stopped at a viewpoint to photograph a spectacular sunset.

提案: Сделайте ответ более чётким и логичным: начните с прямого ответа, затем поясните цель (например, делиться с друзьями или хранить воспоминания) и приведите конкретный пример. Уберите нерелевантные фразы («I don't know») и исправьте грамматические ошибки (например, «a sunsets»).

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery and post them on my Instagram to share with friends. I usually photograph sunsets or interesting landscapes when I travel by car, bus or train because the light makes the scene look dramatic. For example, I recently posted a photo of a mountain valley that received many likes.

提案: Отвечайте сразу и конкретно: можно выбрать одно предпочтение или сказать, что нравятся оба, но объяснить причину для каждого. Используйте связки (because, while, and) и корректную грамматику (например, «see the beauty of the mountains»). Добавьте один конкретный пример или сравнение.

例: I enjoy both, because the sea is perfect for swimming and relaxing, while the mountains are ideal for hiking and enjoying nature. For instance, I prefer the sea in summer for swimming, but in autumn I prefer the mountains for long walks.

× Oh, that is very interesting question.

✓ Oh, that is a very interesting question.

Article error: missing indefinite article 'a' before 'very interesting question'. In English, singular countable nouns usually require an article. Add 'a' to make it grammatical. Suggestion: Use 'a' before singular countable noun phrases: 'that is a very interesting question.'

× And yes, I always look out the window at the scenery when traveling by car and sometimes by bus.

✓ And yes, I always look out of the window at the scenery when travelling by car and sometimes by bus.

Preposition and spelling: 'look out the window' is commonly 'look out of the window' or 'look out the window' (both acceptable), but 'look out of the window' is clearer here; also maintain British spelling 'travelling' to match 'travelling' in question. Suggestion: Use 'look out of the window' or keep consistency in spelling.

× I like sunsets especially and I always take photos of sunsets.

✓ I especially like sunsets and I always take photos of them.

Pronoun and word order: 'sunsets especially' has awkward word order; place 'especially' before the verb or phrase. Use pronoun 'them' to avoid repetition of 'sunsets'. Suggestion: Move adverb 'especially' and replace repeated noun with 'them'.

× Uh, but uh, some people don't understand.

✓ But some people don't understand.

Redundancy and filler words: Multiple 'uh' fillers are unnecessary in written answers. Remove fillers and keep the sentence concise. Suggestion: Omit 'uh' and begin with 'But'.

× Of course, and then I post it on my Instagram account and I don't know, but I see a beautiful way when I see a sunsets, when I travel by bus or by car or sometimes by train.

✓ Of course, I post them on my Instagram account, and I don't know, but I see beautiful scenes when I see sunsets while I travel by bus, by car, or sometimes by train.

Plural agreement and article use and word choice: 'post it' should be 'post them' to match plural 'photos'. 'A sunsets' is ungrammatical—use 'sunsets' (plural) or 'a sunset' (singular). 'Beautiful way' is incorrect collocation; use 'beautiful scenes'. Also simplify clauses and maintain consistent tense. Suggestion: Use plural pronouns for photos, correct collocations, and streamline sentence structure.

× Oh, I prefer both of them.

✓ Oh, I prefer both.

Pronoun redundancy: 'both of them' is acceptable but unnecessary; 'both' suffices after 'prefer'. Suggestion: Use 'I prefer both' for conciseness.

× I like swimming and at the same time I like see a beauty of mountains.

✓ I like swimming and at the same time I like to see the beauty of mountains.

Verb form and article use: 'like see' is incorrect; use 'like to see' or 'like seeing'. 'a beauty of mountains' is ungrammatical; use 'the beauty of the mountains' or 'the beauty of mountains'. Suggestion: Use infinitive or -ing form ('like to see' or 'like seeing') and include proper article 'the' before 'beauty' with 'mountains'.