Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitations, and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid repetition ("look" twice) and filler sounds ("uh").

例: Yes, I enjoy looking out of the window when I travel. For example, I especially like seeing beaches because the sea and palm trees make the journey relaxing.

提案: Make the sentence grammatically correct and clearer: give a direct answer, remove fillers, and explain why or when you take photos using a linking word. Provide a small detail about what kind of scenes you photograph.

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery from the car window because they help me remember the trip; for instance, I like photographing coastal views and interesting buildings.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and one precise reason with a linking word; avoid repetition and filler words. Correct minor grammar issues (e.g., "I can enjoy being there" or "I really enjoy the breezy weather").

例: I prefer the mountains because they are more peaceful and I enjoy the cool, breezy weather there, for example when hiking or sitting by a viewpoint.

× Yes, I love to look, uh look out of the window and while travelling and see the beautiful scenery outside.

✓ Yes, I love looking out of the window while travelling and seeing the beautiful scenery outside.

The original uses 'love to look' and separate verbs 'while travelling and see' which is awkward. When verbs follow expressions of liking, the gerund (-ing) form is natural: 'love looking'. Also keep parallel structure: 'looking... and seeing'. Use 'while travelling' immediately after the verb phrase for clarity.

× I usually enjoy when there are beaches outside.

✓ I usually enjoy it when there are beaches outside.

The verb 'enjoy' typically requires an object. The original omits a dummy object. Adding 'it' creates the common pattern 'enjoy it when...' to refer to the situation described.

× Yes, I do enjoy to take uh, scenery, pictures and overall gesture uh have great memories.

✓ Yes, I do enjoy taking pictures of the scenery; overall, it helps me have great memories.

After 'enjoy' the gerund form 'taking' is required, not the infinitive 'to take'. Also 'scenery pictures' is unnatural; use 'pictures of the scenery'. The clause 'overall gesture uh have great memories' is unclear; rephrase to 'overall, it helps me have great memories' for clarity and grammar.

× I would say that I prefer mountains because they are much more, uh, beautiful to me and I can enjoy there and have I really enjoy the breezy weather there.

✓ I would say that I prefer the mountains because they are much more beautiful to me; I can enjoy being there and I really enjoy the breezy weather.

Multiple issues: 'prefer mountains' is acceptable but 'the mountains' is more natural (article). 'I can enjoy there' is incorrect word order; use 'enjoy being there'. The phrase 'and have I really enjoy' is ungrammatical and redundant; correct to 'and I really enjoy'. Also remove filler pauses and ensure parallel structure.