Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (verb forms, articles) and avoid vague phrases like “beautiful life.”

例: Yes, I usually look out the window when I travel by bus or car. For example, I enjoy watching changing landscapes like fields and city streets because they help me relax and notice local life, especially when I travel to new places.

提案: Give a direct answer then one specific reason and an example. Use correct grammar (plural/singular, articles) and avoid repeating “I love.” Use linking words like “because” or “for example.”

例: Yes, I often take photos from the window because the light at sunrise and sunset makes the landscape look dramatic. For example, last month I photographed a mountain silhouette at sunset and the colors made the photo memorable.

提案: Answer directly and expand with clear contrasting reasons using linking words like “while” or “whereas.” Correct subject-verb agreement and give a short personal detail or example to be specific.

例: I enjoy both, but I prefer the sea when I want to relax because the sound of waves is calming, whereas I prefer mountains when I want to go hiking because they offer great views and fresh air.

× Yes, I do look out the window at the scenery when traveling by a bus or car because I am looking at the view.

✓ Yes, I look out the window at the scenery when traveling by bus or car because I enjoy the view.

The original uses 'do look' unnecessarily; simple present 'look' is more natural for habitual actions. 'Traveling by a bus or car' is awkward: omit 'a' before modes of transport. 'I am looking at the view' is a continuous form that does not fit a habitual statement; use simple present 'enjoy the view'. Suggestion: use simple present for habits and avoid unnecessary articles with modes of transport.

× I love seeing the view of course, and that make me think that we had a very beautiful scenery, the beautiful life and all.

✓ I love seeing the view, of course, and that makes me think we have very beautiful scenery and a beautiful life.

Subject-verb agreement: 'that' is singular so the verb should be 'makes' not 'make'. 'We had' incorrectly uses past tense; use present 'we have' for a general opinion. 'Scenery' is an uncountable noun and should not be preceded by 'a'. Also simplify phrasing for clarity. Suggestions: match verb number to subject, use correct tense for general statements, and treat 'scenery' as uncountable.

× Yeah, I do love taking a picture outside the window because I love seeing how beautiful the sunset and the sunrise and the mountain is.

✓ Yeah, I love taking pictures out of the window because I love seeing how beautiful the sunset, sunrise, and mountains are.

Use plural 'pictures' when speaking generally. 'Do love' is emphatic but unnecessary; simple present 'love' is preferable. 'Outside the window' is better expressed as 'out of the window'. Parallel list needs commas and plural 'mountains' with plural verb 'are' to agree. Suggestions: use plural nouns for general habits, ensure parallel structure, and match verb number to plural subjects.

× I love.

✓ I love it.

The short sentence 'I love.' is incomplete because 'love' is a transitive verb and usually needs an object; adding 'it' clarifies what is loved (the view or experience). Suggestion: include the object when using transitive verbs or use a more complete phrase like 'I really do'.

× I really prefer both, the mountains has a different view and the sea makes me calm.

✓ I really prefer both: the mountains have a different view and the sea makes me feel calm.

Subject-verb agreement: 'the mountains' is plural so the verb should be 'have' not 'has'. Also 'makes me calm' is acceptable but 'makes me feel calm' is more natural. Use a colon or conjunction to connect clauses clearly. Suggestions: ensure verbs agree in number with their subjects and use natural collocations like 'feel calm'.