Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler words and incomplete sentences. Use linking words (for example, 'because' or 'so') to make the reason clear, and correct small grammar slips (for example, 'I usually take the bus' and 'I can see everything').

例: Yes, I always look out the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy watching people and the passing scenery. For example, I often take the double-decker bus, which gives me a good view of the streets and buildings, so I can notice small everyday scenes while commuting.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence followed by specific details and a linking phrase. Reduce hesitations and repeat words. Mention purpose or frequency to enrich content (e.g., 'often' or 'when the view is good') and use one cohesive sentence for the follow-up detail.

例: Yes, I take photos of the scenery quite often because I live in British Columbia and the mountains and rivers are beautiful. For example, when I see a striking mountain view I take a quick photo and set it as my phone wallpaper so I can enjoy it later.

提案: Begin with a direct statement of preference, then give one clear, specific reason and an example. Avoid redundancy and awkward phrasing. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so' correctly, and keep the response to 2–3 well-formed sentences.

例: I prefer the mountains because they make me feel calm and relaxed. For instance, I often take photos of mountain views and send them to my family and friends because they enjoy those peaceful scenes as much as I do.

× Usually I take bus because I prefer to take public transport as I watch a lot of people and usually I take double deck bus and because from the double deck bus I can watch entire. Like.

✓ Usually I take the bus because I prefer to use public transport. I watch a lot of people and I usually take the double-decker bus because from the double-decker bus I can see everything.

Errors: missing articles before singular countable nouns ('bus' -> 'the bus'), incorrect noun form 'double deck bus' should be 'double-decker bus', and awkward phrase 'watch entire' -> 'see everything'. This is a singular/plural and article usage issue; add 'the' for specific bus and hyphenate 'double-decker' as a compound adjective. Also split into two sentences for clarity and replace 'watch' with 'see' for scenery.

× Yes, I do take a lot of pictures. Uh, I like to take the pictures of the mountains. I live in British Columbia, so I like to to take pictures of the mountains or rivers and I put that on my phone display.

✓ Yes, I take a lot of pictures. I like taking pictures of the mountains. I live in British Columbia, so I like to take pictures of the mountains or rivers and put them on my phone display.

Errors: repeated 'to' and awkward verb forms. Use 'I take' instead of 'I do take' for natural present simple. Use the gerund 'taking pictures' when describing a habitual liking. Replace 'I like to to take' with 'I like to take' or 'I like taking'; remove repetition and correct plural pronoun 'them' for 'pictures'. This concerns verb+ -ing and present participle usage.

× Well, I prefer mountains because watching mountains gives a kind of peace to my mind and as I all earlier told you that I like clicking pictures of the mountains and I sent to my like family members or my friends and they also like watching mountains so closely.

✓ Well, I prefer the mountains because looking at them gives me a sense of peace. As I mentioned earlier, I like taking pictures of the mountains and sending them to my family and friends, and they also enjoy viewing the mountains up close.

Errors: tense and aspect inconsistencies: 'watching mountains gives a kind of peace to my mind' is unnatural; use 'gives me a sense of peace'. 'As I all earlier told you' -> 'As I mentioned earlier'. 'I sent to my like family members' mixes past tense 'sent' with present context and adds filler 'like'; use present continuous/habitual 'sending' or present simple 'sending them' but here 'I like taking pictures and sending them' is appropriate. Also 'watching mountains so closely' -> 'viewing the mountains up close'. This corrects present tense usage and improves idiomatic phrasing.