Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is natural, relevant and gives specific examples. To improve, tighten phrasing to avoid minor redundancy and use clearer linking words. Also vary vocabulary slightly (e.g., 'bustling activity' instead of 'happening'). Keep to 3–4 concise sentences.

例: Yes, I often look out the window because it helps me relax. For example, I enjoy watching children playing in parks and birds flying, and sometimes I notice construction sites that show how the city is changing. These sights make my journeys feel peaceful and interesting.

提案: Your idea is clear but the phrasing is repetitive and ungrammatical. Improve by using a direct topic sentence, removing filler words, and adding a brief reason. Use linking words like 'but' and 'so' correctly.

例: Not often, but I sometimes take photos if I see something particularly captivating. For instance, I might photograph an unusual building or a beautiful sunset so I can remember the moment later.

提案: Good attempt to explain preferences and give reasons, but answer ends abruptly and contains an unclear word choice ('vulnerable'). Improve by choosing a more appropriate adjective (e.g., 'stressed' or 'reflective'), finishing the final sentence, and using linking words ('however', 'because'). Keep sentences complete and concise.

例: It depends on my mood because I like both. When I go with friends, I prefer the mountains because we can hike and enjoy the fresh air. However, if I'm feeling stressed, I choose the sea because the sound of the waves helps me relax and think clearly.

× I find looking out the window quite peaceful because it helps me relax and I enjoy watching what's happening outside.

✓ I find looking out of the window quite peaceful because it helps me relax and I enjoy watching what is happening outside.

Use 'looking out of the window' (prepositional preference) and 'what is happening' is a clearer full form of present continuous; this corrects clarity rather than strict grammar but keeps tense consistent.

× For example, I often see children playing in parks, birds flying around and some construction work which makes the journey more interesting and happening.

✓ For example, I often see children playing in parks, birds flying around, and some construction work, which make the journey more interesting and lively.

The relative clause 'which make' should agree with the plural subject listing multiple items (children, birds, construction work treated collectively), so use plural verb 'make'. Also 'happening' is not the correct adjective here; 'lively' or 'more interesting' is clearer.

× Not really often, but yes, if I found something is more captivating and it's like more interesting than yes, I do collect some photos to keep that memory along with me.

✓ Not very often, but if I find something particularly captivating or more interesting, I take some photos to keep that memory with me.

Use present simple 'find' to match the habitual context rather than past 'found'. Simplify 'do collect' to 'take' for natural present tense usage. 'Keep that memory along with me' is unnatural; use 'keep that memory with me'.

× Honestly it depends on my mood because I enjoy both.

✓ Honestly, it depends on my mood because I enjoy both.

Add a comma after 'Honestly' for natural pause; grammar issue minor but aligns with standard punctuation. No article change needed.

× I prefer the mountains when I go with my friends because we can hike and enjoy the fresh air.

✓ I prefer the mountains when I go with my friends because we can hike and enjoy the fresh air.

Sentence is correct grammatically; 'hike and enjoy' are parallel verbs. No change required.

× But when I feel more vulnerable then I would prefer the waves of the sea to relax and to feel the.

✓ But when I feel more vulnerable, I prefer the waves of the sea to relax and to feel better.

Use present simple 'prefer' to match habitual or general preference; remove unnecessary 'would' which suggests conditional. Add 'better' to complete 'feel' and add comma after introductory clause. This corrects tense and sentence completeness.