Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答较自然但有语法和表达不够简洁之处。建议：1) 开头用一句直接的主题句（肯定或否定）更清晰；2) 将原因用更简洁的从句或连接词连接，避免重复（如两次表示原因）；3) 注意词汇搭配和语法（e.g. feel dizzy 或 feel a bit dizzy；focus on my phone screen）。可以练习把两个信息点合并为一句或分为两句，保持不超过5句。

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window to enjoy the scenery. If I stare at my phone while travelling I often feel a bit dizzy, so looking outside helps me avoid that.

提案: 内容明确但表达混乱且有语法错误与词汇不当（如sceneries, put on my phone, send it the pictures that I photo）。建议：1) 用正确的名词复数和动词短语（scenery不可数；use my phone/take photos）；2) 合并或重组句子，使逻辑连贯并使用连接词（e.g. when, so）；3) 提供更具体细节（例如拍什么场景，发给谁，用什么应用）。

例: Yes, sometimes I take photos through the car window when I see something beautiful, such as a sunset or interesting buildings. I usually use my phone and then share the best shots with my friends via messaging apps.

提案: 答案含义能猜测但表达严重不连贯且有语法和词汇错误。建议：1) 用一句清晰的主题句表明偏好；2) 用完整、连贯的原因句，避免句子中断或不正确的词（e.g. 'lots of effort' 'we can play beach volleyball'）；3) 给出一两条具体原因或比较，使用连接词（because, while, and）。

例: I prefer the sea because it’s more relaxing and offers activities like swimming and beach volleyball. By contrast, mountains often require a lot of effort to climb, which I’m less interested in.

× Yes, I always look out the window to admire the scenery outside because if I don't do that I will feel a little bit dizzy, especially when I focus on my phone screen.

✓ Yes, I always look out of the window to admire the scenery outside because if I don't, I feel a little dizzy, especially when I focus on my phone screen.

问题类型：动词 -ing 形式（以及时态/句子结构相关的小问题）。解释：原句中“look out the window”习惯搭配应为“look out of the window”；“if I don't do that I will feel”在一般情况下描述常态感受时使用一般现在时更自然，应改为“If I don't, I feel...”，此外在“if I don't”后面省略了具体动作时用逗号更清晰。改进建议：注意固定搭配（look out of）和条件句中表达习惯性或普遍真理时用一般现在时，写作时加上必要的逗号以提高可读性。

× Yes, sometimes I will do that. If I see some beautiful sceneries I cannot move my eyes, I will put on my phone and take pictures of them.

✓ Yes, sometimes I do that. If I see some beautiful scenery, I can't take my eyes off it; I will pick up my phone and take pictures.

问题类型：现在分词/动名词形式与短语搭配错误。解释：1) “sceneries”通常不可数，正确为“scenery”。2) “cannot move my eyes”不是地道表达，常用“can't take my eyes off it”。3) “put on my phone”错误，应为“pick up my phone”或“take out my phone”。4) 将句子时态调整为更自然的陈述（有时发生的动作用一般现在时）。改进建议：注意不可数名词用法（scenery），学习固定短语（take one's eyes off, pick up）。使用分号或句号分开长句使表达更清楚。

× Most of the time I will send it the pictures that I photo to my friends.

✓ Most of the time I send the pictures I take to my friends.

问题类型：代词使用不当。解释：原句中“send it the pictures”语序和代词使用错误；正确结构是“send something to someone”。“that I photo”中“photo”作动词不常用且用法错误，应为“take”表示拍照。时态方面叙述习惯动作用一般现在时更自然。改进建议：掌握动词短语顺序（send X to Y），使用正确动词（take a photo）、用一般现在时描述常态行为。

× I prefer the sea because for me the mountains need lots of. Efforts to climb to the top of the mountain but foresee we can play some beach volleyball and some other sports very.

✓ I prefer the sea because, for me, climbing mountains requires a lot of effort to reach the top, but at the seaside we can play beach volleyball and other sports.

问题类型：形容词或副词使用不当（及句子结构问题）。解释：原句有多处错误：1) “need lots of. Efforts”断句与大小写错误，应为“requires a lot of effort”或“needs a lot of effort”。2) “climb to the top of the mountain”可以简化为“climbing mountains…to reach the top”。3) “but foresee we can play”中“foresee”用错，应该表达“but at the seaside we can play”或“but there we can play”。4) “and some other sports very”末尾“very”无意义，应去掉或改为“as well”/“also”。改进建议：注意句子连贯性，正确使用动词（require而不是need lots of. Efforts），不要误用单词（foresee），使用恰当的连接词和短语（at the seaside, as well）。