Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Correct grammatical errors, be more concise, and use precise vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason with a linking word. Avoid unclear words like “fuse.”

例: Yes, I always look out the window when I travel by bus or car because it gives my eyes a break from screens. For example, on a recent trip I watched passing farms and hills, which helped me relax and notice details I would normally miss.

提案: Make the structure more natural by combining sentences and adding a specific example. Use linking words (for example, so) and correct collocations (e.g., “capture” or “share,” and “relive” instead of “relieve”).

例: Yes, I often take photos of scenery outside the car window, and I sometimes share them on social media so I can relive those moments later. For example, I recently captured a dramatic sunset over a river and posted it with a short caption about the trip.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference or that it varies, then provide concise supporting details with linking words. Fix small grammar/collocation issues (e.g., “go on an adventure,” “hike,” “watch the sunrise,” “sunbathe,” “play on the beach”).

例: It depends on my mood: sometimes I prefer the mountains because I enjoy hiking and watching the sunrise, which feels peaceful. On the other hand, I also like the sea for sunbathing and swimming when I want to relax and have fun.

× Yes, I always looking out the window at the beautiful fuse when traveling because it helps me take my eyes off the phone screen once in a while.

✓ Yes, I always look out the window at the beautiful view when traveling because it helps me take my eyes off the phone screen once in a while.

The original uses 'always looking' without an auxiliary verb, which is incorrect in present simple. This is a verb + -ing form error (ID 8). Use the simple present 'always look' to express habitual action. Also 'fuse' is a typo; replace with 'view'. Suggestion: use 'I always look' for routines and proofread for typos.

× Yes, I like taking photos of beautiful landscapes outside the car windows. Sometimes I love to post them on my social media to relieve those moments.

✓ Yes, I like taking photos of beautiful landscapes outside the car windows. Sometimes I love posting them on my social media to relive those moments.

The phrase 'love to post' is not grammatically wrong, but the intended meaning 'relive those moments' was written as 'relieve', which is incorrect word choice. Additionally, 'to relieve those moments' is awkward. This falls under sentence structure/word choice but maps best to subject-verb agreement errors (ID 27) because the sentence structure affects meaning. Correction: use 'love posting' or 'love to post' and replace 'relieve' with 'relive' to convey experiencing the moments again. Suggestion: choose verbs that match intended meaning and check commonly confused words like 'relieve' vs 'relive'.

× It depends on my mood. Sometimes I like to go to an adventure and hiking in the mountains because watching sunrise is my favorite part of hiking.

✓ It depends on my mood. Sometimes I like to go on an adventure and go hiking in the mountains because watching the sunrise is my favorite part of hiking.

'Go to an adventure' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'go on an adventure' (preposition error ID 11), and mixing 'go on an adventure and hiking' is inconsistent. This also involves verb + -ing form (ID 8) because 'hiking' needs a parallel verb form: 'go hiking' or 'go on an adventure and hike'. Also 'watching sunrise' needs the definite article 'the'. Correction uses parallel infinitive and gerund forms and adds 'the' before 'sunrise'. Suggestion: use parallel structures ('go on an adventure and go hiking' or 'go on an adventure and hike') and include articles where needed.

× But sometimes I also love to go sunbathing and play in the summer on the beach.

✓ But sometimes I also love to go sunbathing and play on the beach in the summer.

The original places 'in the summer' after 'play', which is awkward. The preposition placement is incorrect (ID 11). Move 'on the beach' immediately after the verbs and place 'in the summer' at the end: 'play on the beach in the summer'. Also 'go sunbathing and play on the beach' keeps parallel structure. Suggestion: keep parallel verb phrases and place time expressions ('in the summer') where they naturally fit at the end of the clause.