Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 答案有明确观点，但语法和表达重复、句子结构不够自然。应先用一句主题句直接回答，然后用1–2句具体理由或例子支持，避免重复并纠正语法（例如“it makes me makes me good for our eyes”应改为“it is good for my eyes”或更自然的表述）。可以使用连接词如“because”或“so”来衔接观点与原因。

例: Yes, I always look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy seeing the local scenery. For example, on long journeys I like to watch the changing landscapes, which helps me relax and feel less tired.

提案: 回答意思能理解，但表达不连贯且有语法错误。应先直接回答（Yes/No），然后说明原因或一个具体例子。避免使用“unconsciously”这种可能造成歧义的词，改用“often”或“instinctively”。注意句子连贯，修正“make it. Memorable and I will turn it back”这类断裂。

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the window because I want to remember the places I visit. Later, I look back at these photos to recall my trips and share them with friends.

提案: 有清晰偏好，但句子有语法和词汇错误（例如“sea bite”应为“seaside”）。应用一到两句话说明理由并举例，使用连接词如“because”或“for example”。注意动词形式和名词搭配，使表达更自然（例如“it makes me feel peaceful”）。

例: I prefer the sea because it makes me feel peaceful and I enjoy breathing the fresh sea air. For example, when I visit the seaside I like to watch the sunrise and walk along the shore.

× Definitely yes. I think go outside for traveling the most important thing is to look outside of the bus or car.

✓ Definitely yes. I think the most important thing when travelling is to look out of the bus or car.

句子结构混乱：原句中短语顺序不正确且缺少必要的结构（例如定语从句或介词短语的位置）。建议把“the most important thing”和“when travelling”连在一起，形成完整的主语结构（the most important thing when travelling），并使用固定搭配“look out of”表示从车窗向外看。这样句子更通顺，语序符合英语习惯。

× You will get the beautiful scenery of the local and it makes me makes me good for our eyes.

✓ You will see the beautiful local scenery, and it is good for our eyes.

介词和短语使用不当：原句用“get ... of the local”不符合英语表达，应使用“see ... local scenery”（或“the local scenery”）。此外“makes me makes me good for our eyes”重复且语法错误，改为“it is good for our eyes”。建议使用简单主语+系动词结构来表达“对眼睛有好处”。

× Definitely, as if I have the beautiful scenery of the outside, I will take photos unconsciously and make it. Memorable and I will turn it back.

✓ Definitely. If I see a beautiful scene outside, I will unconsciously take photos to keep it as a memory and then look back at them.

句子结构和连贯性问题：原句使用“as if”不恰当，且句子被错误断开（“make it. Memorable”）。建议使用条件句“If I see...”代替“as if”，并用动词短语“keep it as a memory”或“look back at them”来表达“保存并回看照片”。这样句子连贯且符合语法。

× I prefer sea because it makes me peaceful and breathe the sea wind and enjoy the sea water.

✓ I prefer the sea because it makes me feel peaceful; I can breathe the sea air and enjoy the water.

介词和词组使用错误：一般说“prefer the sea”而不是“prefer sea”。此外“makes me peaceful”需用“make sb feel adj.”结构。“breathe the sea wind”不地道，改为“breathe the sea air”。建议使用自然固定搭配和补足动词（feel）。

× When I go to the sea bite, I will enjoy the sunrise and the sun.

✓ When I go to the seaside, I enjoy the sunrise and the sun.

用词和句子结构错误：原句“sea bite”是拼写或词汇错误，正确应为“seaside”或“the beach”。此外时态应与习惯性动作一致，使用一般现在时“enjoy”。建议使用正确名词并保持时态一致。