Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答比较自然且信息完整，但有几处小问题需要改进：1) 句子数量偏多且部分表达冗余，应该更简洁；2) 有少量语法错误与搭配问题，如“help me prevent the car sick”应为“help prevent car sickness”或“help me avoid car sickness”；3) 可以用连词或短语改善衔接（例如“for example”, “also”位置调整）；4) 词汇可以更具体（如用“rural landscapes”“urban skyline”替代泛泛的“natural scenery”/“city landscape”）。建议控制在3-4句内，首句直接回答，随后用1-2句具体支持并用连词衔接。

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I enjoy watching rural landscapes and changing urban skylines because they show the local character. Also, looking outside helps me avoid car sickness by giving my eyes a stable point to focus on.

提案: 回答直接且信息明确，但可以更自然并避免小错误：1) 第一部分“not only I take photos, but I also make a video”语序应调整为“not only do I take photos, but I also make videos”或更自然的“I not only take photos but also make videos”；2) 可增加具体细节说明拍照或摄影的目的或风格（例如拍摄时间、喜欢拍什么元素），以显得更具体；3) 控制句子长度，使用连词如“because”或“so”增强逻辑。

例: Yes, I not only take photos but also shoot short videos of the scenery. I usually focus on interesting details like roadside villages or dramatic clouds because these clips and pictures help me remember the mood of the trip.

提案: 回答清晰且理由充分，但可提升自然度与语言准确性：1) 第一词句可更简洁直接，例如“You prefer the mountains because...”已经很好；2) 列举活动时可使用并列连词并简化，如“activities such as camping, hiking and climbing”；3) “provides me some chances to learn different plants”表达稍别扭，可改为“gives me a chance to learn about local plants”或“observe native flora”；4) 可加入一两词比较或感受词增强表达（e.g. “peaceful”, “refreshing”）。

例: I prefer the mountains because I can do activities such as camping, hiking and climbing, and enjoy fantastic sunset views from the top. I also like studying the local plants and wildlife there, which makes the trips both active and educational.

× In addition, enjoying such a beautiful scenery also help me prevent the car sick.

✓ In addition, enjoying such beautiful scenery also helps me avoid carsickness.

句子中存在动词与主语不一致的问题：主语是动名词短语 "enjoying such beautiful scenery"（视为单数），因此谓语动词应使用第三人称单数形式 "helps"，而不是 "help"。另外，英语中通常不说 "the car sick"，更自然的表达为 "carsickness" 或 "motion sickness"；同时在修饰不可数或抽象的 "scenery" 时通常省略冠词 "a"。建议：把动词改为第三人称单数并使用常见词汇 "carsickness"，并去掉不必要的冠词。

× Yes, of course, not only I take photos, but I also make a video about this scenery.

✓ Yes, of course, not only do I take photos, but I also make a video of the scenery.

原句中使用结构 "not only I take photos" 的语序不正确。在使用 "not only... but..." 强调结构时，前半部分若含实义动词，应使用倒装或放置助动词以保持语法正确性（例如 "not only do I take photos"）。另外，短语 "make a video about this scenery" 可改为更简洁自然的 "make a video of the scenery"。建议：使用倒装形式 "not only do I..." 并改进介词搭配。

× These are good ways to record the trip and the scenery along the way is also an important part of the whole traveling.

✓ These are good ways to record the trip, and the scenery along the way is also an important part of the whole trip.

句中 "the whole traveling" 用法不自然。名词 "travel" 作不可数或可数名词时用法不同，通常说 "the whole trip" 或 "the whole journey"。此外，为连接两个并列句建议在逗号后加连词 "and"（原句已有但可以合并更自然）。建议用 "the whole trip" 或 "the whole journey" 替换不恰当的短语。

× I prefer the mountains because there are many activities I can do on the mountains, like camping, hiking, and climbing, and I can get a fantastic view of the whole city on the mountaintop, especially when it comes to sunsets.

✓ I prefer the mountains because there are many activities I can do in the mountains, like camping, hiking, and climbing, and I can get a fantastic view of the whole city from the mountaintop, especially at sunset.

原句中介词使用不当：通常说 "do activities in the mountains" 而不是 "on the mountains"；从高处观看城市通常用介词 "from the mountaintop" 而非 "on the mountaintop"。此外，短语 "when it comes to sunsets" 在这里显得多余且不够自然，改为更简洁的 "especially at sunset"。建议：调整介词以符合英语习惯表达，并简化时间短语。

× What's more, being on the mountains also provides me some chances to learn different plants.

✓ What's more, being in the mountains also provides me with some opportunities to learn about different plants.

原句存在搭配和介词问题：短语 "provides me some chances" 在英语中更常见和更准确的表达是 "provides me with some opportunities"；同时应使用介词短语 "in the mountains" 而非 "on the mountains"。此外，"learn different plants" 听起来像是“学习不同的植物”，应改为 "learn about different plants" 表示了解或认识植物。建议：使用正确的搭配 "provide sb. with sth."，改正介词并使用 "learn about"。