Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and direct: begin with a clear topic sentence that answers the question, then give one specific supporting detail. Avoid redundant phrases (e.g., "while going somewhere" and "travelling" together). Use a linking word if adding a reason or result.

例: Yes, I usually sit by the window when I travel by bus or car. For example, I enjoy watching changing landscapes because the views help me relax and feel more energetic during long journeys.

提案: Start with a direct answer and follow with a clear reason or brief example. Avoid repeating words ("while traveling" and "while enjoying"). Keep it to one or two supporting sentences and include a linking word (e.g., "because", "so").

例: Yes, I often take photos from the car window because photography is a hobby of mine. For instance, I try to capture interesting light and patterns on landscapes during sunrise or sunset.

提案: Give a direct answer and then provide a specific reason or brief comparison using linking words. Avoid awkward phrasing like "but however" and clarify what you mean by "real and dramatic."

例: I prefer both the mountains and the sea rather than one or the other because each offers different experiences. For example, I like the calmness and waves of the sea, while the mountains give me fresh air and stunning viewpoints, so together they create a dramatic and balanced atmosphere.

× I'm very much fond of travelling while going somewhere by bus or car.

✓ I'm very fond of travelling by bus or car when going somewhere.

The phrase 'very much fond of' is nonstandard; use 'very fond of'. 'Travelling while going somewhere' is redundant and awkward; place 'when going somewhere' after the mode of travel. Use 'by bus or car' as the correct prepositional phrase for modes of transport.

× I always prefer sitting at the window and I love to enjoy the scenic beauty outside which makes me feel fresh and enthusiastic as well.

✓ I always prefer sitting by the window, and I love enjoying the scenic beauty outside, which makes me feel refreshed and enthusiastic.

Use 'by the window' rather than 'at the window' for seating position in a vehicle. 'Love to enjoy' is awkward; 'love enjoying' is more natural. Use a comma before the relative clause 'which makes me...'. Use 'refreshed' not 'fresh' to describe a feeling caused by scenery.

× Photography is one of my hobbies and while traveling I love taking pictures while enjoying the views outside, I believe.

✓ Photography is one of my hobbies, and while travelling I love taking pictures and enjoying the views outside, I believe.

Avoid repeating 'while'. Use a comma before 'and' to join independent clauses. 'Taking pictures while enjoying' is redundant; use 'taking pictures and enjoying' to list two parallel actions. Also maintain consistent spelling 'travelling' as in transcript.

× I prefer both the mountains and the sea, but however I don't like only mountain or only sea.

✓ I prefer both the mountains and the sea, but I don't like only the mountains or only the sea.

Using 'but however' is redundant; choose either 'but' or 'however'. When referring to general nouns, use plural 'mountains' and 'sea' with 'the'. Include articles 'the' for clarity: 'the mountains' and 'the sea'.

× Both of their combination feels real and dramatic.

✓ The combination of both feels real and dramatic.

'Both of their combination' is ungrammatical. Use 'the combination of both' or 'their combination'. Subject-verb agreement requires 'combination' (singular) with 'feels'. The corrected phrasing is clearer and natural.