Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid repetition (e.g., saying "favorite" and "nature" multiple times) and correct noun/adjective forms ("nature lover", "favorite part").

例: Yes, I often look out the window when I travel because I am a nature lover. For example, I enjoy watching changing landscapes like forests and rivers, which helps me relax during long trips.

提案: Reduce hesitation words and correct grammar ("one of my favorite hobbies", "I post them on social media"). Give a brief specific reason or example and use a linking word for coherence. Keep it to two or three sentences maximum.

例: Yes, I often take photos through the window and post them on my social media because I like sharing beautiful views. For example, I usually upload landscape shots as stories to show friends where I am.

提案: Give a clear direct answer first ("I prefer the mountains"), then add one specific reason using a linking word ("because" or "as"). Fix informal phrasing ("hill person", "my eyes got chills") and avoid trailing off. Keep it within two sentences.

例: I prefer the mountains because they make me feel peaceful and relaxed. For instance, hiking on mountain trails and seeing wide views calms me more than a busy beach would.

× Yes, this is one of my favorite part of a journey because I am a natural lover person and watching throughout the window while traveling is one of my favorite thing to do and I love watching nature and explore the nature.

✓ Yes, this is one of my favorite parts of a journey because I am a nature-lover, and watching through the window while traveling is one of my favorite things to do; I love watching and exploring nature.

Multiple singular/plural errors: 'part' should be plural 'parts' after 'one of my'; 'person' is unnecessary and awkward, 'nature-lover' is a compound noun. 'thing' should be plural 'things' after 'one of my'. Also adjusted 'watching throughout the window' to 'watching through the window' and merged phrases for clarity. Suggestion: after phrases like 'one of my', use plural nouns (parts, things). Use concise nouns like 'nature-lover' and parallel gerunds ('watching and exploring').

× ...watching throughout the window while traveling is one of my favorite thing to do and I love watching nature and explore the nature.

✓ ...watching through the window while traveling is one of my favorite things to do, and I love watching and exploring nature.

After 'love' and in a list with 'watching', verbs should be parallel gerunds: 'watching and exploring'. Also 'favorite thing' should be 'favorite things'. 'Explore the nature' is unidiomatic; use 'exploring nature'. Recommendation: keep verbs parallel and use natural collocations ('exploring nature').

× watching throughout the window while traveling

✓ watching through the window while traveling

'Throughout' means 'during the whole of' and is incorrect here; the correct preposition for looking from inside to outside is 'through'. Suggestion: use 'through the window' when referring to seeing via the window.

× I am a natural lover person

✓ I am a nature-lover

'Natural lover person' is ungrammatical and redundant. Use the compound noun 'nature-lover' or the adjective+noun 'a person who loves nature'. Suggestion: prefer idiomatic expressions like 'nature-lover'.

× Of course, taking pictures of the scenery, uh, through the window is one of my favorite hobby.

✓ Of course, taking pictures of the scenery through the window is one of my favorite hobbies.

'One of my' requires a plural noun: 'hobbies' not 'hobby'. Suggestion: use plural after 'one of my'.

× I take pictures for my social media to upload them as a story or as a post.

✓ I take pictures for my social media to upload them as stories or posts.

Use plural 'stories or posts' to match 'pictures' and avoid repetition with articles; in this context plural is more natural. Suggestion: match count (plural) when referring to multiple items.

× In my social media, there are many natural post I have.

✓ On my social media, I have many posts about nature.

Word order and preposition are incorrect: use 'on my social media' not 'in', and 'many natural post I have' is ungrammatical. Reorder to subject-verb-object and use 'posts about nature'. Suggestion: use clear SVO order and correct prepositions ('on' for platforms).

× In my social media, there are many natural post I have.

✓ On my social media, I have many posts about nature.

'In' is not the normal preposition for platforms; use 'on' social media. Also 'post' should be plural and 'about' introduces the topic. Suggestion: 'on my social media' and 'posts about nature'.

× To be honest I'm a hill person I love mountains instead of beaches cause the mountains are something that give me peace and my eyes got chills when I see mountains and the.

✓ To be honest, I'm a hill person; I love mountains rather than beaches because mountains give me peace, and my eyes get chills when I see them.

Run-on sentence and informal conjunctions: missing punctuation between clauses and 'cause' should be 'because'. 'Instead of' is acceptable but 'rather than' is more natural here. 'Give' must agree with plural subject 'mountains'. 'My eyes got chills' mixes tenses; present 'get chills' fits general preference. 'See mountains and the.' ends incomplete; replace with 'see them'. Suggestion: break into clauses, use 'because' and maintain tense consistency.

× the mountains are something that give me peace

✓ the mountains are something that give me peace

This sentence actually requires 'give' because the relative clause refers to 'mountains' (plural). If rephrased to 'something that gives me peace' the construct must change ('mountains are something' is awkward). Better: 'mountains give me peace.' Suggestion: prefer direct 'Mountains give me peace' for clarity.