Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Nên rút ngắn và tổ chức câu rõ ràng hơn: trả lời trực tiếp, sau đó thêm một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể. Hạn chế tiếng ngập ngừng (uh) và từ thừa (my bus or car -> when I travel). Dùng linking words đơn giản để logic (for example, so, and).

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by car or bus because I enjoy the changing scenery. For example, when I arrive at a new place I often take photos or short videos to remember it, so I can look back at them later.

提案: Cần sửa ngữ pháp và cấu trúc để rõ ràng: tránh lỗi như "I actually I am" hoặc thiếu mạo từ và giới từ. Trình bày một câu chủ đề rồi bổ sung lý do cụ thể. Giảm filler words và sắp xếp từ đúng thứ tự.

例: Yes, I often take photos and videos of the scenery outside the window because it helps me keep memories. I usually store them on my phone, so I can watch them later when I want to remember the trip.

提案: Cần trả lời trực tiếp (sea or mountains) và tránh nhầm từ (same -> sea). Nên dùng câu rõ ràng nêu lý do và một ví dụ ngắn. Hạn chế lặp từ và sắp xếp ý mạch lạc hơn với liên từ như "because" hoặc "so".

例: I prefer the sea because swimming makes me feel relaxed and free. For instance, whenever I feel stressed, I like to go to the beach and jump into the water to clear my mind.

× Yes, I really need to look out the window when I travel in my bus or car because I can see the whole scenery.

✓ Yes, I really like to look out the window when I travel by bus or car because I can see the whole scenery.

The original uses 'need to' which implies obligation rather than preference; 'like to' fits the question about habit. Also 'travel in my bus or car' is unnatural—use 'by bus or car' for mode of transport. Suggestion: use 'like to' for preferences and 'by' for transport mode.

× When I come to new places in uh, I can uh, take a photo or video to keep the memory.

✓ When I come to new places, I can take photos or videos to keep the memories.

Countable nouns 'photo' and 'video' should be plural when speaking generally. 'Memory' as a countable thing should be 'memories'. Remove filler words 'uh' for clarity. Use plural forms when referring to multiple instances.

× Yes, I actually I am. I frequently take photo, uh, video about it 'cause I can keep the memory for my and whenever I want to record, I can, uh, see it from my phone.

✓ Yes, I do. I frequently take photos and videos of it because I can keep the memories, and whenever I want to look back, I can see them on my phone.

'I actually I am' is ungrammatical; answer short form 'I do' is appropriate. Use plural 'photos and videos' and preposition 'of' for content. 'Keep the memory for my' is incorrect; use 'keep the memories' and 'see them on my phone'. Also replace 'record' with 'look back' or 'watch' depending on context.

× I prefer the same most of time because whenever I swim I feel relaxed and freedom and in and without thinking anything.

✓ I prefer the sea most of the time because whenever I swim I feel relaxed and free and I don't think about anything.

'the same' is a confusion with 'the sea'. 'Most of time' should be 'most of the time'. 'Freedom' is a noun; use adjective 'free' to describe feeling. 'Without thinking anything' is unidiomatic; use 'I don't think about anything'.

× Oh whenever I feel stressed I just want to go to the sea and jump to the water.

✓ Oh, whenever I feel stressed I just want to go to the sea and jump into the water.

Use 'jump into the water' rather than 'jump to the water'. 'Jump into' indicates entering the water. Also add commas for natural pauses. 'Go to the sea' is fine; ensure preposition 'into' for movement into water.